There is a quote in my room that goes like this
How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.
Makes sense, right?
Take simple examples from everyday life. Unless you get out of your cozy bed, you cannot get started for the day. And, if you want to reach a cafe for a date or to just have a cup of coffee, you need to step out of the comfort of your home.
So yeah, this quote by Lao Tzu, I find it to be very true. That doesn't mean I am nervous about change.
I had an interview call today. I think it went well. Spoke with both the founders separately and they both seemed interested in my candidature. I don't have the official letter yet, but every time I think about it, it makes me sigh. I take deep breaths and hope for all to go well.
I have a job you know, it is stable, pays average, the company has been there for over a decade and will be there for a lot more. But I somehow don't fit in as much. I feel like my skills, and intelligence is being wasted there. Like instead of growing, I am degrading.
Full confession, I did learn about few other verticles of digital marketing at my current job, but some things that I was proud of about myself, I am losing. Things like punctuality, I am the one who would reach on time every time, but not anymore because I know no one is going to be there. I respect schedules and timelines, if something is promised at a certain time, it will get delivered. But here it is so difficult to get approvals on time so delays are inevitable.
I am a person who honors her words. If I say something, I do it or at the least keep the other person updated about the progress, delays, and human errors. So in my current professional setting, I basically don't feel like myself.
Not denying that I have learned on my job as well. Including patience and taking certain things easy. But some things I am not okay with and still have to accept them silently.
So when this opportunity arrived, I was happy. I still am, that everything so far is so good. The place where I am interviewing is a startup. SO it comes with the instability of a startup. The biggest difference. They just finalized their logo. They are currently working on other parts of branding. The company is just starting out. It's an early-stage startup. So all I am worried about is its stability. Nothing else.
I know that it is difficult for the brain to register change positively. I know it is afraid to get into the unknown. I do want to look at the bright side, and I do want to hope for the best.
But consideringly recent events in life, I have to act responsibly now that I am not only earning for myself but one more person. And this responsibility is making me evaluate this professional advancement as I have never done before.
I am a very instinctive, carefree person on most days at least. It's crazy to see myself change like this. I have left jobs and accepted whatever came next in a heartbeat if that's what I wanted.
In my current job, I take as many days off as I want, and I am never questioned twice. I don't know if I will get the luxury of living at my new job as well. That is the other thing that scares me. I already have the rest of the year planned. I hope I get to execute my plans as well.
If everything goes well, I might just accept the new job even after all the questions, doubts, and nervousness. So these unstable feelings will have to be dealt with voluntarily to accept the change with open arms. Also to make the most of this opportunity to find who I might become...
I can't control everything, but I will control what I can and keep my faith alive for all that happens, happens for good.