My weird might not be your wierd

March 14th, 2022.

Got invited to someone's place for dinner and they charged me for it. This is weird right?

I don't know about the culture of other countries, or let ne even say other people's belief, but for me, its VERY AWKWARD.

Okay, so today I got invited to my best friend's place for dinner. She said she wants to mark/celebrate my birthday in advance, since she got a scholarship and would be traveling out of the country by next week. My birthday is 28th, so she felt the need to celebrate me before the D-day.

I was happy at her thoughtfulness. But on getting to her apartment, I got the shocker of my life.

While I was about leaving home, I took a wine along, in order not to go empty handed and to show that I appreciated her efforts, she collected it and while we were seated at the dining to eat, she threw the bomb.

To my surprise, she charged me USD $20, which is about 10,000naira(Nigerian currency) to eat at her house. When I asked her why she was charging me, she said that it was because things were now expensive and that she had to do something to make ends meet and have enough to hold her till she travels out of the country.

I was shocked by how expensive things could be to the extent of her charging me for inviting me over.

I left without paying but transferred 8000naira(16$) to her after which I sent her an email telling her that I didn't think it was right to charge guests to your house, particularly when you were the one that invited them yourself.

And that next time she should tell the person to come with cash if she knows they have to pay.

What would you have done if it were you?

How would you have reacted if you had been at this dinner party? Would you have challenged her? What would you have said when she asked for payment at the end of the night?

On the other hand;

People often don't like talking about money. We are all guilty of it.

Let's say a family member asks you to come over for dinner and you're really excited to go until they tell you that they will be charging you or have a suggestion of what to bring. You make a face and say, 'I can't afford it' even though you totally can afford it.

Up until recently I wasn't comfortable with receiving cash gifts from friends whenever I visited them, I'd rather give them.

Cash gifts are supposed to be fun, not make people feel bad.

Think about this;

So, you've invited friends over for dinner. You've got the table set and the food ready.

It's a nice evening, you go out to the garden to call your friends inside and to your surprise they say; "Don't worry about it. It was nice of you to invite us, but we have decided to pay."

What would you have done? You've got a few options – Go ahead and let them pay, make them pay or both.

Paying for dinner is a thorny topic for many people in relationships. It is difficult for me because I don't like to be indebted to anyone, though I do like to give gifts.

However, I love being invited by friends and family. I love being taken care of by the people I love. This is quite different from you inviting me over for dinner and later demanding that I pay without prior notice.

Many couples want to take care of each other financially but one or both would rather not be in debt to the other.

I don't know if we all have the same perception of what an invitation means, but I consider it a request to join. If you invite me to dinner and I pay, that means you had a benefit in financial terms: you could buy more food or something. If you invite me, it's because you want me there. We have a concept of moral obligation that can not be imposed by mere words. It is impossible to demand money from someone you invited for dinner in my own view.