Accepting Defeat

17th, January 2022.

"Accepting defeat shouldn't be a word in our dictionary. But then again, I'm a fighter. I was born a fighter, bred to fight and raised to fight. I've been in situations where I could have accepted defeat, but I didn't.

Should there be a time when we should accept defeat?

Throughout my life, there have been many different instances where I have felt defeated. Whether it was a topic I don't seem to understand or an assignment that seemed impossible, I have felt defeated. With each defeat, I did not realize that I was growing stronger. Every time I encountered a challenge, it gave me the opportunity to learn something new and grow.

Like when I was told that the first book I wrote was not good enough for publishing, seeing that rejection as something that I could grow from and changing it for the better. Shrugging off any setbacks and seeing the glass as half full is how you move forward in life.

In a recent discussion I had with my students, the topic of acceptance came up. We were talking about how if we accept defeat, we can still get up and keep fighting. Another person stated that even if you accepted defeat you wouldn't know what to do next.

The person who said this is right, however they're also wrong. The reason they're wrong is because accepting defeat can be used in our favour.

Let me start by saying that there is no such thing as defeat. The moment you accept defeat is one moment before your time. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel or a candle to light your way through the dark. There will always be someone there to lift you up when you feel like your at the end of your ropes.

Accepting defeat is surrendering to something better coming along. It's showing others that you're not afraid to fail and that if you do fail, there's no shame in picking yourself back up and starting over again.

I have seen people accept their mortality, the inevitability of death. I have seen people accept the defeat of their ambitions, their hopes and dreams. I have even seen people accept the inevitability of my own interference in their affairs. But I have never seen anyone accept defeat as a good thing.

There are times when you try everything but you just can’t seem to get it. Maybe it’s a relationship, finding a job or maybe even starting a business. Whatever it is, there comes a point where you feel like you’re failing and you should just give up. I mean really, what good is it to try when you know that in the end, it’s just not going to work out? I get it. When things don’t go your way, you can be disappointed and think that giving up is the best idea.

Accepting defeat is hard. We all have different ways of dealing with problems. However, I don't think there's ever a time where we must accept defeat. I've had to deal with losing a business before, a job and even a person I was very close to. I didn't understand that back then, but I do now. Back then, I would just get angry and feel like I was the biggest victim in the world. Feeling sorry for myself only led to me being unhappy and being miserable to those around me.

I remember thinking, "I can't believe this is happening! Why me?!" Even though it did happen to me, I had to let it go because no matter how much I wanted to change things, I had no control over it. Dealing with something that we can't control can be very difficult because the only thing we can do is try our best not to let it affect us as much.

We should accept defeat when it is after the last drop of energy. A lot of us have that habit where we keep pushing even if we have nothing left to push with. The result we get after pushing until our last drop is defeat.

One thing I cannot stand is how people keep on running away from their own defeat. They see themselves getting closer to their own failure but instead of just accepting it, they run away from reality trying to find an escape route. When reality hits, they experience a hard blow from reality itself which makes them accept their own failure.

The easiest way to learn from your mistakes and personal growth is to accept your own defeat when it comes after you run out of all your chances to succeed. This will give you the chance to analyze what went wrong in your previous endeavors so that you can use that as a guideline for future improvements.

So, with each defeat you experience in life, see it as a chance to grow stronger and not as an opportunity to start wallowing in self pity.