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“If you were to do a hookup, how much would you charge?” He asked randomly. I couldn’t believe my ears. There I sat directly opposite him and enjoyed a great meal from the restaurant I had suggested. This was my first time meeting him after we had bantered for so long on the Timeline.
“Why would you ask that unprovoked? Did I strike you as someone who does hookups?” I inquired. I tried to act casual. “I thought we were randomly creating scenarios. You always do that on the TL, don’t you?” He pushed further. “You do know that is an out of place question.”
“You tweet out of place topics though. So tell me, how much would you charge if you were into that? Can I guess?” He suggested. There I sat, being humiliated because I openly made a tweet talking about how single I was and how I wanted to actively go on dates. This was my second.
“Are you getting offended? Please don’t . You can actually ask me how much I’d charge. Actually I’d charge 100k. Am I cheap?” And he burst out in an irritating laughter. I was disgusted. He struck me as an intelligent fellow on the timeline and that was why I agreed on the date.
“Ah don’t be angry. I can see your smile has faded. Let’s be free with each other na. If you would like us to go farther, we have to be able to joke. Do you want to know something wild about me?” He continued. He was really testing my patience.
I really should’ve known I couldn’t find love on Twitter. The first date had gone really terrible. He kept commenting on how I ate. “Are you sure you can finish that?” “Yes, why?” “You just seem like those prim and proper ladies that are very conscious of how much they eat.”
“You’re able to eat this much and not gain a single weight. Hmmm let me guess where the food is going.. those two on your chest!” He pointed out laughing. I had taken my bag and walked off that day, leaving him all alone at the bar. He tried reaching out after but I blocked him.
And there I sat again with this psychopath. “I know you will go on Twitter now and tweet about what I said, that’s how you e-feminists like to do. Harmless questions like this don't tweet everything. This is why I stay away from Twitter girls.” His demeanor changed suddenly.
“Did you just realize how stupid your question was and decided to become defensive?” I asked. “Let’s just stop going through the corners, I find you sexually appealing. And I know you have a price so just let me know, you can’t say you came here dressed like this without piping.”
I stared at myself again. I had worn a nice silk top which was unbuttoned from the first three buttons up. My cleavage was showing a bit and I had a jean on. I didn’t want to believe I looked like what he had in mind. And even if I did, he had no right to talk to me in that way.
“You’re a dirty pig.” I cursed. “I’m sorry please, I didn’t mean it. I was only trying to test you. I know you’re a proper lady, I swear I wanted to know your true intentions. I have always admired you and was happy you accepted to go out with me I swear. I am not a bad guy.”
“I’m not like what you think, someone suggested I try it and see if you will fall. I’m just a single dad looking for a classy lady to settle with. See Simi, don't be angry. I really admire you. What about your friends at home? You can order whatever you want for them I will pay.”