Children are primarily looking for love

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3 years ago

Much more than candy, we can motivate children with something that cannot be bought.


The academic journal Journal of Child Development published a study according to which regular parental yelling at children has the same consequences as if they were beaten. Children who tolerate screaming have more frequent feelings of depression and anxiety. If we yell at our children, we teach them that they will yell at others, or that they will expect others to yell at them when they grow up.


Screams can alter the nerve pathways in a child’s brain so that the child thinks he or she is in danger, and therefore strikes back, escapes, or petrifies. These responses are recorded in the child’s brain and affect his or her current and future personality development.

We do not set a good example by yelling Regardless of the negative effects that crying has on a child's development, parents must not forget that this is a bad example, especially if we want to raise children in a spirit of tolerance and self-control. We cannot ask a child to behave well and control his or her emotions if we cannot do so on our own.


In fact, many parents feel overwhelmed by the negative and unexpected responses of their child, and when they don’t know how to react, they open the door to anger and frustration. It is a pattern called in psychology a “flood of emotions” that triggers a spiral of screams and uncontrollable emotions.
This often happens because parents cultivate unrealistic expectations of their children and expect them to behave more maturely. In other cases, they do not use strategies to help them cope with such a situation. In both cases, it must be clear that yelling at children is not the right solution.


The art of motivation

We motivate with love, kindness and positive emotions, which have undeniable power in encouraging and inspiring and encourage us to act. Even negative emotions such as anger, hatred, or fear can force us into action at the moment, not as motivation, but as avoiding danger. Love attracts, convinces and creates stability. Violence cannot be a healthy driver of stability in a child’s development.
Children are primarily looking for love. Positive emotions give rise to positive behaviors. A good indicator of love are the emotions that are present in the lives of children because of our presence and closeness.

Photos are taken from google.com.

Thank you for reading my article.

@Purebeauty

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