Anger is the instantaneous, original, and most natural response of our body to injustice. We also feel it when our boundaries are violated or basic needs are not met. Like all other emotions, it gives us important information about how we feel, what we are experiencing, and what is really important to us.
Anger affects our body as every stressful situation in the body has its own response. If we pay attention to bodily sensations when we are angry, we recognize that the heart rate is accelerating and we are overwhelmed by the wave of energy we feel most in our arms, chest, neck or jaw. The muscles are tense and our body prepares to run or fight. Facial facial expressions also change; eyebrows are pushed down, our eyelids are closed, eyes are gleaming, teeth are clenched, lips are tense, and the tone of our voice changes. Our attention is heightened and fully focused on where the sense of danger or threat comes from. Because the individual is not receptive to new information about other people at that time, except for those he sees as dangerous and from whom it is necessary to protect himself, his ability to learn and resolve mutual conflicts is also severely impaired. There are many fulcrums that can help us recognize and release repressed anger and resentment. Here are just a few basic guidelines:
• Am I willing to start resolving repressed anger and resentment or seek help if I can’t do it alone? Let’s honestly and objectively look at the circumstances in which we find ourselves without looking for the culprit or condemning anyone. Thus we move from a passive attitude when I look for culprits in other people, to an active attitude and take responsibility for my own life.
• Let’s clarify the basic concepts: if an injustice has happened to us, the responsibility for the act always lies with the perpetrator. If we let go of anger and resentment, it does not mean that we will forget about the event or justify it, it was wrong and should not happen again. We are also free to bear angry feelings or not, and we can achieve their resolution even if the person who hurt us does not regret their actions. We can also experience injustices that no one wanted to do. Unclear basic concepts lead to emotional complications and retention of resentment.
• Take responsibility for your own emotions. Let’s stop shifting the responsibility for our own well-being onto someone else, because we won’t resolve repressed resentment that way. When we look for the culprit in other people, we will also look for solutions to our own problems in external sources (eg, another has angered me. I can only forgive my resentment if he apologizes and regrets his behavior.). Let’s think about what we can change about ourselves and take responsibility for our own well-being and experience.
• Find out how deep our anger is. Let’s recognize which events in the present are causing a stronger, disproportionate emotional response in us than we would otherwise. These events remind us that the wound from the past has probably opened up for us as well.
• Our anger and resentment affect our body. Suppressed anger and resentment have been shown to increase blood pressure, migraines, cardiovascular disease, strokes and heart attacks, digestive problems, liver and kidneys. Let’s ask ourselves how anger affects us and become aware of the processes within the body that give us a lot of information.
• Recognize the emotions hidden under anger. Anger is divided into genuine and defensive. Genuine anger occurs when our boundaries are violated and we experience injustice. In these cases, healthy anger is very welcome. Defensive anger, on the other hand, arises from pain. Then the anger covers the pain below, thus destroying the relationship (eg the partners are arguing all the time, as this is easier than facing the pain and the damage they have caused. Invisible is created between them. a wall that prevents them from feeling this sadness and connecting more deeply with each other, and defensive anger keeps them at a distance, thus "protecting" them from getting really close to each other, thus risking possible re-injury. or loving healing of emotional pain). Feelings of guilt, fear, shame or inferiority are often hidden under anger. It is much easier to live with a feeling of anger than with a feeling of one's own worthlessness. Let’s gather all our energy, courage, and determination and resolve what lies beneath defensive anger.
• Suppressed anger changes the way you think. Because anger changes our ability to think and judge soberly, we find it harder to weigh arguments objectively, we also fall for lies faster, we overestimate our abilities, or we focus only on ourselves and our own needs. Let’s identify beliefs that prevent us from letting go of resentment, e.g. “It should have been different than what happened. The other should behave differently than he did. ”Based on beliefs, we perceive the world, and based on how we perceive the world, we also understand it. Our emotional responses are thus not directly related to the events that happen to us, but to how we interpret those events. As we understand these events, so we respond to them, and thus we shape our future. Anger is therefore our body's natural response to injustice, and it is up to us how we let our anger be felt and expressed.
It is important to find a balance in the expression of anger: if we are prone to oppression and oppression, we will need to gather courage and take risks in the next situation and express it in an acceptable way. However, when we are more prone to expressing anger strongly, it is good to find ways to help us calm down and control.
Thank you for reading my article.
Greetings from @Purebeauty
What are good ways of releasing anger?