I don't know if this happens to only me; the need for a certain event not to occur then eventually it happens, despite all your efforts. Then eventually you get frustrated and see everything as meaningless. You become numb,until....wait for it ...wait for it.... something good happens to you again and give you a reason to feel alive. So many times you tried to be positive but things don't work out. Believe me I know that feeling, you're constantly making wrong decision or you think you are making wrong decision. You even begin to question your existence,"oh may be I was a mistake?". You even question the reality of your own truth. It gets to the point where you even feel that "there's no right or wrong", since those unfavourable events happens to only you. The question is; "does all these happenings make you a better person?"....Back in 2020 a series of events happened to me that put me in this condition. I always wanted to take my own life,when any single problem comes up. And the truth is that I could never hurt myself "everytime I took that knife and hold it against my wrists, it's like I don't even have the guts to put enough force on it to get a slit". I imagined the consequences, "was it worth it","what if I survive?","if something goes wrong will I live the rest of my life with regrets". Anyways I guess. I am just one crazy person.
Do well to share your life experiences below.
No doubt that people all around the world go through a lot, depression is real as well as suicidal attempts, but in all we must learn to hold on to hope, even when the last hope is no longer tangible, we've got to keep hanging and let the end meet us trying rather than we quitting ourselves.
Good to have you back brother.. You're loved