Ever since I came to my senses, all I acknowledged is that money is one thing that enables our life to get going. I was just 13 or 14 years old that I desperately wanted to work and earn for myself and my family. Money was and has been one thing that I have always kept my eye on and, accordingly set my goals around it.
However, as rightly said by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Money often costs too much”. As I have always been immensely hardworking and very much focused to earn, to keep my money game strong- I think I have given up on so many moments to live my life to its fullest. I have replaced my innocence, my gone by teenage, with eagerness and the pressure to be someone, to have something, and to make it in life, for the goodwill of my future being. And, with this, I think I have been deceiving and pushing myself with constant threats, pressure, oppression, and obligation, by equally knowing and acknowledging that “Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.” -Benjamin Franklin
Yet, the question remains there, do I have enough so that I shall stop running after it, and how much is “enough” for real? Well, I think, I do have answers to these questions, I do acknowledge that no matter how much we do earn or achieve in life, it will never be enough, there will always be situations, moments and people, who will make us feel down with direct or indirect hints that “we or, I am never enough... that I can do more and move a step ahead… I can set my own limits and the thing is, I do not want to limit myself…”
Therefore, with this, “thinking” or some call it- “overthinking”, I start a battle with myself, leading to ultimate anxiety, where I am not at the ease with my own being, I worry or simply fear that “what if I cannot make it” because in the end, “ Frugality includes all the other virtues.” -Cicero, right?
See, currently, I am in my early 20s where some people aspect me to live my life, live it carelessly, make memories, and keep the worries for “adulthood”, which according to them, has not hit yet, I am still too young to be an adult.
However, there is another group of people, who thinks and suggests- “the 20s is the time for you to work hard, make money or, as early as you can, even if you are a teenager, it's better to earn, make money and set your future. This is the age, as you will only have this energy and the courage, to do everything to anything, so… take a risk, when you are “young”. Face problems, tackle them, and keep moving, and you will achieve your dreams and goals sooner, and it's okay if you have little anxiety and feel pressured, it will all be worth it once you make it!” And, that's all, what they say…?
Well, for me personally, I love working, I love the feeling that I get once I earn and achieve something by myself, maybe a Capricorn in me is very much ignited. But, (let me take this thing a bit deeper, let's twist the topic a little bit, okay?) the thing is, the pressure to have material possessions for internal satisfaction have somehow, completely misplaced the emotional side that I have, something I am just not able to show, the intrusive thoughts that my brain constantly formulate every day and night, at times, get little too much to handle…and yes, that is it, maybe.
Anyways. Lastly, it’s my choice that I love to work and make money, and I love, being independent and leading my own life under my own terms and conditions, structuring my individualistic identity- free life of my own choice. So?
I think in the end, I’m just obligated, to make money but then the issue here is, maybe because I am too young maybe, I am just overthinking, a little way too much… “maybe”… I do not know! But, one thing I know for sure is, the anxiety remains the same as “I wish to make my dreams a reality”, where I wish to live a life of my choice, as once said by Roger Babson, “Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his presents.”
What are you passionate about?