Teach your children to control themselves

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Today's culture undermines self-control. In our permissive culture, adults and children constantly hear messages that we have to do what we want.From well-meaning self-help gurus to greedy street vendors, we constantly feel that we have to give in to our wishes.

Early teaching of self-control is vital. In a long-term study, researchers gave a group of four-year-olds one marshmallow each and said they could either eat the marshmallow immediately or wait a bit and receive another marshmallow as a reward for their patience. . Later in life, when they finished high school, children who demonstrated self-control by age four performed better than their emotional, social and academic counterparts.

The cost of not teaching self-control can be high. Researchers believe that a child's brain circuits can be altered by their experiences.If we abuse our children, if we don't teach them to take turns, postpone gratification and resist temptation, the neural changes that we associate with strong character. may not occur.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Teach your child about the consequences.

Age-appropriate, teach your child that there are advantages to resisting urges and a price to paying for giving in to them. For example, if your child is upset that someone has been abused, help him or her stop and ask yourself, "Will retaliation help or hurt?" Is there a better way to handle the situation, maybe by counting to ten and letting the anger subside? Would it be better to leave? '

• Create incentives.

  Praise your child for demonstrating self-control. Let him know that it's not always easy to suppress his urges, but it's a sign of strength when he does! The Bible says, Like a destroyed city without walls, it is man who cannot control his temper.On the contrary,the slow to anger is better than the mighty.

• Practice.

  "What Would You Do?" or "Good choices, bad choices" or something similar. Discuss the possible scenarios and present the possible reactions, rating them as “good” or “bad”. Be creative: If you wish, use puppets, pictures, or some other method to make the activity fun and educational. Your goal is to help your child understand that it is better to be in control than to be impulsive.

• Be patient.

  The Bible says that "madness is connected with the heart of the child." So don't expect your child to develop self-control overnight. This is a long, slow process with progress, interruptions and increased progress.However, the effort is well worth it.