SON

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN COMPLETE?

People I know keeps on asking why I am not getting pregnant yet? That I should be going to the doctor so that at least I know if I have an underlying medical condition. After a long years of convincing my self I finally went to OB-GYN or obstetrcian gynecologist to have my self check. I still do remember how I feel that day because it was my first time entering to a clinic of that kind.

I was anxious about what will happen inside the room and what will be the result. Thank goodness cause what she did is she just gently stroke my tummy and asking me repeatedly if I feel pain, and I answered her back that I do not feel any pain at all. After that physical examination she asked me more about my monthly period etc. she is gathering data I guess. And then the doctor gave me a letter of recommendation, she scheduled me to go and meet for another doctor in a town that is one hour away from our place.

I waited for about a week before the scheduled day meeting to another doctor and I can not deny the feeling of being anxious is more intense. I went inside the clinic and seated at the corner while I waited for my turn, in the waiting area I see pregnant women. I had a chance to talked to one of them who is seated beside me she said its her first pregnancy and I can tell it by her eyes and while we are chatting she must be excited. I feel happy for her but at the back of my mind I wish it was me too. Right at that moment I felt something inside me is missing, I felt incomplete.

I was startled when my name was called by the doctor's assistant, I can feel my heart in my throat I said to my self this is it. After half an hour the examination ended and she told me to come back after three days for me to know the final result of the examine that she did.

THE RESULT

And so I came back after three days and she handed me over the paper where must be the result is written. I read it but I couldn't understand the medical term that is written over the paper and I asked her to explain it to me further. As I was listening with her explanation I felt a part of me is crashing, why me? Is the only question that is in my mind at that very moment. The doctor said I have an endometriosis which is the cause of my painful monthly period and it is also the culprit why after so many years living with my partner (ex) we did not got pregnant. Endometriosis is an abnormal growth of tissue in a reproductive organ of a woman, it causes infertility. Yes I did asked the doctor why some women do have this condition and sad to say the answer is experts do not know yet.

I still can not believe it is happening to me, I asked the doctor if there is a way that somehow can remove this thing inside me.

The doctor gave me an option, the first option is she will prescrive me a medication that helps to stop producing that certain hormone that feeds the endometriosis and stop from growing (birth control meds.). And the second option is operation, the reproductive organ will be removed, do I have a choice with either of the two? I left the clinic that day with a heavy heart and so many questions in my mind. It takes a lot of time before I accepted my fate. I told my self I may not be able to bear a child that does not mean that I am incomplete, I can not be pregnant with my own child but I can take care of another's child.

MESSAGE

I recieved a message from a friend who works in another city, she is telling me about a young lady who is searching for a family that can adopt her newly born son. As soon as I read that message I felt an unexplainable excitement, my friend asked me if I wanted to take care of the child and adopt him. I never second guess about it and I remember my self buying a baby blanket and getting a bus ride going to my friend. When I reached the bus terminal my friend is already waiting for me, things happened that fast. Infront of a barn a young lady is standing there and waiting for us my guess is she is around 23 years old during that time, we greeted each other and as soon as I spoke to the mother I heard the baby cried so loud. We immediately went inside the barn and I saw the baby in the bed crying I sitted beside him and tried to calm him down. They are living in a barn because I saw machines that is used for farming.

We settled all the things that needs to be done (formalities) before travelling back home.

(photo below is my younger brother carrying the baby, his few weeks with us)

ANGELO

I felt I was dreaming of all the things that happened, one day I recieved a bad news that I can not bear a child and next thing I know I am now a mother. Sleepless nights and a tiring days that is how I remember today looking back. He is a cry baby and doesn't want to be left alone. So imagine while I am doing my chores I put him in a baby carrier and carrying him at my back (lols). It is a one tough job to be a mom but is a fullfilling one. I named my son Angelo a woman in the bus gave that name to him because she said it is a gift from God an Angel. And what a coincident my son is turning nine years old in a few months and I remembered his biological mom's name is Angelica. Reason why she turn angelo into adoption because the father of the child have a legitimate family and does not want to man up his responsibility with Angelo's mother.

Thanks to Angelo's biological parents if not because of them I will not experience how to be a mother.

I HAVE TO GO

When my son turned a year old I decided to apply for a job abroad in order for me to give his basic needs, by that time I am a single mom already so I am obliged to provide everything. I left Angelo under the care of my sister and while I was working abroad I am contiously sending money for his needs like diaper, milk and so on. For the longest time I was away from my son and now I came to realize how much time I lost while I was away, I did not saw his first steps and even did not heard his first word. I have a lot of catching to be done, I want to make him feel that he is not alone and that I truely love and cared for him. I will never go away from you son, AND THAT IS A PROMISE.

SEE YOU SOON

Unexpected situations occured, my plan is to take my son where I am at now but it seems we have to take down plan A and have to consider plan B, I decided to go back to where my son is instead of getting him here with me. In a few months I'll be heading home, I know he's been waiting for that moment to come. I can't wait to be a mother again to my child and I hope it is not yet too late for us. This time I will do it right, this time I will never leave him no more and this time I will be stronger to face every difficulties I may encounter along the way. SEE YOU SOON SON ANGELO!

PHOTOS ARE ORIGINALLY MINE, I AM @Baguiobostonterrier in noise.cash.

Thank you for the time you spend in reading my first long content here in read.cash. Looking forward to be one of your avid reader here, God speed!