"My battle against Depression"

November 06, 2021. 

Depression is not just a word, it is a battle between life and death.

During my high school days, I didn't know that I already suffered from anxiety at that time. The words depression and anxiety are not so popular in my high school days. So, I thought that it was just simple stress that affects my mental health.

*Storytime*

Way back in high school and I am in my 2nd year when I start to experience this. I become popular in school when it's attacking me. I faint for no reason and it is so strange for me because I'm not the kind of person that suddenly fainted. And as expected, almost all of my schoolmates start talking about what happened and starting to make some fake news. I fainted almost twice a week or 5 times a month and it is hard for me, it's affecting me every day. Then the worst fake news has scattered on the campus that the reason behind the faint scenario of mind is pregnancy. And I know to myself that it is not true. It will never be true, and that my depression starts to kick me. I cried almost everyday and I lost my self-confidence to face people but I thank God, my family, and my friends they never leave me alone. My parents decided to take me to the Neurologist\Psychologist doctor, during my checkup the doctor said to my parents that I need to be admitted to undergo tests. I undergo many tests to find out the reason why I suddenly faint. The tests such as EEG where they will put metal with wires on your head to check and monitor your brain activity while you are sleeping or awake.

EEG Test

CT Scan

CT scan test is a diagnostic tool for detecting diseases and injuries. Few days after my CT scan test undergo an MRI test.

MRI Scan

MRI scan is a type of scan that uses strong magnetic fields and radio waves to produce detailed images of the inside of the body.

After all the tests that are related to brain movement, my doctor requested a heart test to determine if is there any factor that affects my brain activity. She refers me to a heart specialist.

The heart specialist requested I to take these tests; 2D echo and Ecg

2D Echo

2D Echocardiography or 2D Echo as it is commonly referred to is a test used to diagnose cardiac disorders.

Ecg test

An electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG)records the electrical signal from your heart to check for different heart conditions. Electrodes are placed on your chest to record your heart's electrical signals, which cause your heart to beat. The signals are shown as waves on an attached computer monitor or printer. (google.com)

After all the tests, and my neurologist and the heart specialist are done reading all the results. I was diagnosed by my neurologist \ psychologist with Grand Mal seizure that why I suddenly blank out due to lack of oxygen passed to the brain. And the result of my heart examinations is not so fine but can be handled. Undergo treatment for my grand mal seizure, this is a lifetime. My depression arises during my medication because my activities are changed and I have a lot of factors to consider before doing things I loved to do. I feel like a prisoner at that time.

Day by day I slowly accepted the fact that I have limits and I need to obey to live. My best friend's helped me to conquer the world of depression. I thought that I already won against it but when I one of my best friend died due to an accident my world back to its dark era. I never tell anyone about it and live with it for almost 2 years. I went to college with my best friends they helped me a lot to cope with it. I'm recovering little by little when this happens; I was comatose after taking my grand mal medicine I made the mistake that I take it with paracetamol to treat my headache. I was referred to one of the big hospitals in Cebu but before that, I was admitted 1 week after being transferred. I'm just a nightmare to my parents, after several days my consciousness went back little by little, and I hate seeing my parents cry, and what makes it worse is am the reason for that tears.

That time, I promised myself that I will never do things again that can hurt my parents. 6 years passed when I conquer depression all by myself.

fighting for depression and but depression is hitting me so much. When I found that I'm pregnant with my second child after 2 years of being diagnosed with PCOS. I thought I will be happy throughout my pregnancy but I experienced the so-called pre-postnatal depression.

But at that time, I already know how to handle myself, I ask my husband for help to conquer it. He helps me throughout the process. I went through a lot of challenges in life and realize that depression took a lot of me, it's time for me to be happy and regain myself.

There is a lot of causes of depression but there is also prevention. Don't let depression eat your soul, fight against it and pray.

Throughout my fight against depression journey, the best medicines for me are Prayers and Love. Think that you are strong than all your problems.

If you feel any of these, please seek help and pray to God. Prayer is the best weapon against evil. Fight it and Win it.

Let's fight together and don't give up because life is so beautiful. God bless us all!

Thank you for reading!

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