"I Cried - Mom's Diary"

January 28, 2022

I love my job, the job of being a full-time mom, I never regret my sacrifices just to be a hands-on mom to my two kids.

One of a mom's jobs is to feed her kids, and when you are a new gave birth mom you need to feed your newborn either breastfeeding or bottle feeding.

When I gave birth to my firstborn, I mixed my feeding procedure so that any time soon I can go back to school because I am still an undergraduate at that time. I just breastfeed him for 4 months and so on is bottle feeding. After I weaned him we observe that his immune system is weak, he easily gets sick and was admitted to the hospital many times. The explanation of the doctor is breastfeeding kids have a strong immune system than bottle feeling kids.

That's why when I get pregnant and gave birth to my child, I and my husband decided to fully breastfeed my newborn baby. We saw the difference between a breastfeeding baby and bottle feeding baby because my second child in God's grace is not a sickly kid and in her teething stage, she didn't suffer a lot than her big brother way back before when he is still a baby.

Yesterday is my second child's 1st birthday

and I still breastfeeding her as much as I can but 2 weeks before her birthday I've decided to wean her because my Licensure Examination for Teacher is scheduled on January 30, 2022, but I failed to weaned her because didn't want to drink formula milk. It is very hard for me to wean her because she didn't want to drink other milk, she loves breast milk.

Since I need to go to the place where I will take a LET a day before the exam, today I've decided to wean my baby girl. It is very hard for me because I have a lot of milk and I can feel that my baby needs it. Her father was the one who cares for her today, but she always called and said "mama" while crying out loud because she was hungry and want to latch onto my milk. I can feel the separation anxiety that she felt now and I am so guilty of it.

I can hear her voice calling my name and saying "mama, am am", I'm so hurt and feel sorry hearing her asking for food (breastmilk). Her grandparents were there playing with her but she still crying out loud.

We both suffering from separation anxiety now, and I just need to fight my feelings and focus on the examination even it is so hard for me. I feel useless every time I heard her voice, crying out loud, and no one can stop her from crying except me.

I decided to get her even my husband didn't allow me to be in her sight and now she calm down and sleeps on my chest while hugging me.

I am crying now while hugging her back. I feel so guilty but I need to sacrifice my breastfeeding journey because all of these fights and hardships are for them and to give them a better future.

Sorry baby for making you sad, mama always loves you.

Life Lesson:

No one can ever be like you as a mom no matter what happens the love and care that you shower to your child/ren will remain a treasure for them until they get old.

Thank you so much for giving your precious time to read my article.

To all my sponsors, upvoters, subscribers, and my read. cash family, I am asking for your prayers as I take the LET this coming January 30, 2022. Thank you so much in advance.

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