..I look back all my journeys in life and then realized that my sickness is the starting point of my anxieties..
January 1, 2017, I got admitted in the hospital due to constant vomiting and loss of balance. I was working in a call center company at that time, and I still remember the first feeling I had and the exact date it started.
I was talking to a friend while sitting on a chair, when suddenly felt dizzy, light headedness and nauseous. It was December 13, 2016 when my first symptoms showed. I just let it passed for I thought it was just normal for someone who do schooling in the morning, and had a job in the evening. It didn't stop there, the symptoms got worse each day, until on January 1, 2017, my parents decided to admit me in the nearest hospital, since the symptoms caused me to have panic attacks, real bad.
These were the moments that my symptoms got worse. I already had panic attack every time the symptoms occur.
If you're having these syemptoms, better go to the doctor for check-up:
A sudden sensation of spinning, swaying or tilting
Feeling unsteady or imbalanced
Falling
Nausea, vomiting
Double vision or difficulty focusing on moving objects
Headaches
Impaired hearing or ringing in the ears
Difficulty concentrating
A racing heartbeat
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/vestibular-migraine-dietThat day, I felt really scared about the results. They ran tests on me to determine the reason why I had these symptoms in the first place. A day after, a doctor came to my room and diagnosed me having Meniere's disease. A type of vertigo where you experience a tingling sound on one ear and dizziness. The main reason why I got it, was due to stress, over work, no proper rest and eating unhealthy foods [call center agent problems].
I felt the world around me was spinning. Even if I was just sitting there steadily, the world I was in was shaking. I also heard tingling sounds, and it made me experienced depression. Yes, I was battling it for quite a long time, because I felt no one understood the feeling that I had. My left ear seems to hear cricket tingling sounds, and I remember I asked mom if there were crickets outside, most of the time. I was battling Vertigo inside me, it caused me to have sleepless nights due to noisy feeling I had in my left ear.
I lost my hearing ability in my left ear..
Yes, you read it right. I lost it October, 2018. A year and a half after I was diagnosed with Vertigo. I noticed it when I was wearing earphones. My left ear felt like It had a water inside. The sound wouldn't pass through, I really felt scared to be honest. Imagine, you had to hide it because you knew no one will understand your situation. It totally got lost after days the symptoms occur. I don't know the reason behind it but my anxieties started at that day. I always find myself avoiding people around me, I avoided big crowds and I stopped schooling.
I don't belong..
I felt something inside me was gone. The ability to hear both ears was gone. Every time someone approached me, I got scared because I might not hear them or they might laugh at me. I was bullied to some because they thought it was okay. They thought it was okay to not hear anything at your left ear. It made me feel that I was useless, because I still have to ask them to repeat their words before I heard them. It sucks.
I started coping up..
..because I need to. I need to adjust from it because If I don't, I am letting this disability control me and my life. I was inspired to all the people who are also has Menier's disease. I have nothing to be worried about because God is in control of everything. That motivates me to just carry on and move on.
These people inspires me to go on. They have been so strong despite of the attacks.
I encouraged everyone to not stop your life because of your sickness. Continue living because God is bigger than your problems. God helps me everytime I am having those attacks. Prayer works most of the time!
Thanks for reading my article!
