Hi, It's been awhile..

It's been a while, my dear read.cash friends. I am currently here in my room, thinking about the happenings in my life lately. I was out here for like 3 weeks. I don't exactly feel like writing anymore, for some reason. Today, I decided to share with you the silent battles I've been carrying for a while now.

I went home last 3 weeks ago here in our province. I am trying to be as positive as others, but sometimes, sadness comes to my mind. Lol. Life has still been the same since the last time I wrote about myself. Nothing changes that much, except that I am growing stronger each day. Life is not easy for me, but I am doing okay.

I have been thinking on how to improve myself, and I think, the first step to do is to accept my flaws and imperfect world. The hardest part of this is that, I lost all tracks to the things I once loved.

First, I can't find a job because it's either, I don't want it, or I just found myself not pursuing it. I have been trying to apply for work, but I don't know why I am so afraid to talk to strangers. My anxiety could never handle that. I fear rejections lately. I didn't want to disappoint my family, but at the same time, I couldn't even help myself. Second, I didn't take the board exam because I was not prepared mentally, emotionally and physically. Third, I don't even understand my mood swings. I feel like my emotions are so sensitive these days. I can't just sit there totally feeling happy. Most of the time, anxiety hits me, and it hits differently now.

That's why, I want to find an entertainment while I am here in the province. I thought being here would help me become better, but there were days that I could sense my anxiety became worse while staying here. Maybe because, people here sleep early compared to the people in the city. I have more time alone at night, which I hate the most.

How do I cope up with anxiety?

Maybe, some will ask me about it. I usually give myself time to relax. I talk to my partner and my family, most especially to God. I always look for something to divert myself from sadness. It helps, sometimes, but most of the time, I really had a hard time surviving. Lol.

That's the main reason I have not posted anything here for 3 weeks now. I wake up each morning feeling unmotivated. I usually plan to write in the evening, and when a new day starts, I always find myself not doing it again. It's a cycle I've been struggling with, really.

Closing Thoughts:

Life has been hard for some of you. You might be struggling to fight each day, but know that someone is silently cheering you on.

Remember, it's not a bad life. It's just a bad day. Smile often, and talk to God.