CHARACTERS

People across the world have distinctive characters and just like Star Signs, they act, think, and look alike.

Each have special nicknames according to their behaviors.

Next up we have THE MALE PRETENDER, is this you?

Meet: The male PRETENDER

The male pretender is a well-built, good looking man resembling a game ranger in appearance and apparel. The clothes are bushy and uniform, not too tight, ‘move-about’ shorts and a matching short-sleeved shirt is all you will ever see him in and the colours come straight out the bush, kaki, kaki and more kaki and it's worn without fail day after day after day. This repetitious fashion is of course comfortable for him but at the same time presents a rather perfunctory and boring personality. . . unyielding, uninteresting, unimaginative, and unremarkable you would assume. On the other hand, formal suits and ties restrict and strangle him, consequently occasions that require it are seldom attended by Pretender.

He has a prominent forehead with a rapidly dwindling hair line, a phenomenon which annoys him but not unduly. The nose and lips are masculine, the teeth are even yet slightly discolored, spoiling an otherwise sensuous and attractive smile, the cigarettes may enhance his image but dismally stain otherwise perfect teeth. His eyes are penetrating when engaged in a stare and since you will be physically enthralled by him you will wave and smile shyly at him like the fool you will eventually turn out to be. Afterward however, prepare yourself for an overwhelming sense of impetuosity on your part after his piercing and rather supercilious scowl has passed over you while his response is a gesture that looks impolitely like a ‘stop signal’ rather than a greeting and at the same time avoiding eye contact.

Pretender walks with a determined march, head down, arms swinging and invariably appears hot and bothered. This ruddy, flustered expression makes him (he thinks) look incredibly sexy, however being as close as you can get to arrogance it is wise not to confirm this to his face if indeed you ever get that close. Pretender appreciates being flirtatiously stared at by women, despite his insulting body language, BUT if you are a chubby lady, that language means exactly what it says and to be blunt, fat women revolt him, Pretender likes his women, petite, well-groomed and lady-like!

Pretender has binoculars where most people have eyes and discovers with one sweep who’s observing him, affording himself much pleasure from your admiration and if you are reasonably attractive, he will dangle himself like a carrot in front of you and suddenly he will appear before you as if by magic, loitering in your vicinity chatting to his pals or walking and to your battered morale and exhausted emotions it must be another coincidence but in fact this deliberate exhibition is intended to strengthen your fascination for him and at this point, you might by some miracle have captured that elusive interest you so desperately need from him, considering you have been staring fixedly at him on every possible occasion and moreover using ‘power of the mind’ to get him to notice you and he would have to be very thick-skinned not to have noticed, but don't make a fanatical fool of yourself just yet (plenty of time for that) he can unquestionably take you or leave you.

Nevertheless, your flagrant and rather conspicuous desire will encourage him to walking or driving within your field of vision, generously providing you with an uninterrupted view of himself, thereby cementing your attraction for him and of course satisfying his hefty ego, this is a welcome diversion, performed with skilful indifference.

Finding yourself on the opposite end of the confrontational area, be it car park, beach, or supermarket, you will be suffering your way through yet another hopeless encounter, all of them ending with the same result, you, feeling frustrated beyond all reason and he, pretending you are inferior and thereby invisible, "why can’t he even smile at you, the bastard!" But don't hold your breath, the look he ultimately sends your way is one affiliated to him staring down at a turd stuck between the tread of his bush shoe. UNYIELDING is Pretender’s last name.

This man cannot remain in one place for long, particularly in a formal atmosphere, he shifts his weight from one shoe to the other, then he leans on something, next he places his hands on his hips, legs apart. These maneuvers are partially due to back ache which he occasionally suffers and to impatience. He is irritable when not on the move or outdoors. Spending many hours outside he has acquired the interesting and rather attractive habit of contorting his brows independently up and down to shield his eyes from the glare of sunlight, (he has sensitive orbs) yet he spurns sunglasses and caps, this will hide (he thinks) his greatest features, his eyes and his macho expressions. His continued disregard for you, even when your paths cross will annoy you into thinking, “he can go to hell from now on, who does he think he is anyway." Yet, enticed like a spider to it’s ferocious mate, at the very next opportunity, you will dawdle about in places you know he will be or pass-by and with all systems alert, 'he’s arrived,' and before you can say, “son of a bitch” he will be gone again, thoroughly ignoring you as he greets all his friends with a brilliant smile and thus, having been kicked enthusiastically in the ass not once, not twice but several times, it finally dawns on you, give it up, get a life and MOVE ON!

His home is large and bright, just like his surroundings. He makes his living (if he can) out of the land and the more work he has the better he feels, but you wouldn’t think so judging by the surly expression you see him wearing most of the time and that perpetual frown can really get on your nerves along with the mobile phone he has just about surgically attached to the side of his head.

He can talk about a single subject ‘he’ finds interesting for longer than you have patience and the monotonous voice drones on and on, surprisingly he is an uninteresting speaker when addressing a crowd or strangers. He is also to some extent a private person but now and then appreciates a chance to exhibit his house and garden or any of his weighty achievements and whilst on a diatribe about this or that you frankly won’t see that attractive man anymore, no matter how hard you look, he has traded places with a rhetorician.

People, and principally those who work for him are treated somewhat casually, as long as they do their jobs and stay out of his remaining hair then life goes on but don’t grumble to him about income or living conditions, he will pack your single suitcase so fast your bare feet won’t touch the ground as he personally escorts you out the gate. Staff are not part of his favorite things or their belongings. Nevertheless, his family, animals and plants are part of his precious things however, and they are kept well-nourished, clean and in good health. His property is teeming with wild splendor and nature flourishes throughout. Pretender is a fanatical environmentalist, expending a great deal of money and effort in the beautifying and improvement of his surroundings and while relaxing on an expansive veranda he contemplates his latest, mammoth triumph, which possibly include a dam and its estuary terminating in a waterfall that very likely, thunders with the magnitude! He is a man who loves creation and all that encompasses it, excluding humanity, who he doesn’t trust or like very much. A splendid sunrise or sunset fills him with awe, while a summer thunderstorm electrifies him, filling his chest with the smell of damp foliage is pure intoxication and in the evening sky Pretender is held spell bound as he gazes into the stars while enjoying a well-earned beer and a few smokes.

His vehicles are treated like pets rather than machines, under the tree is an elderly pick-up which he is fond of and of course he can smoke and not worry too much about the ash cascading down upon the seats. The pick-up is looked upon like a faithful dog and is kept clean and shiny, used daily, the seat fits his butt like a glove. Parked in the lock-up garage is the mechanical thoroughbred, it will be big, powerful and expensive, only coming out on significant occasions, when comfort and speed, or the urge to further promote his image and appearance appeals to him, although you for one, reckon he couldn’t get any better and he for two would agree.

In the finance section he is tighter than a policeman’s pants, yet, if he would benefit himself by doing something for someone else, he will move mountains and replace them with streams, nothing will stop him and if this helps others along the way then well and good, grateful thanks mean a lot to him. On the domestic front when he is forced to ‘go shopping’ for provisions like eggs, bread or milk a resigned expression replaces disdain, at this time he is obliged to slow down, resulting in an unpleasant pain in the ass. With visible restraint he walks down the aisle propelling a supermarket trolley before him, indifferently greeting people he cannot avoid and avoiding those he can. Fresh vegetables and wholesome foods are on his basic menu along with a few beers occasionally after a hard day’s work.

He sporadically visits a sports club or pub, where he will ‘over-do-it,’ resulting in a hangover the next morning that nearly kills him as he mutters and swears his way through the day, promising himself, “never again!” He has such a changeable temperament, in one instant he can be chivalrous and amusing and the next, he’s such a puss one wonders what they saw in him in the first place.

Pretender, I reckon is capable of seducing most women and is aware of this, but sadly and regrettably, never follows through, living in his own world with you razor-wired and padlocked on the outside he is content to play cat and mouse games indefinitely or until he gets bored. One can’t help the assumption, he is lacking in masculinity and mettle, despite having exceptional power tools it appears the workshop has no power!

To actually have this man focus his attention, you would have to move within his circle of friends and that would be like ‘fools rushing in where wise women fear to tread.’ It is a clannish brother and sisterhood, and strangers are not welcomed or appreciated, men and women alike. Pretender impersonates a serious, no-nonsense type of guy, but inside that hairy chest there is the distant possibility of a male who is ardent and earnest as women would like him to be, except Pretender is the hunted, not the hunter, typical of prey, he is elusive and evasive, and if YOU can impersonate a leopard…. happy hunting but if you are a buck, bad luck!

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@PoweringThrough posted 3 years ago

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