A Wedding I Will Not Be Attending

My wife and I were supposed to be attending a wedding on the 22nd of October, 2021. But we will not be attending. Even though this is the fourth postponement of the wedding mainly because of the pandemic. And even though this is my younger cousin's wedding.

I had actually planned to attend. It seemed like it might be a good time. But that was then. When the first invite was sent out almost two years ago.

The thing is, it has turned into a bit of a fiasco in my opinion.

Look, I don't mind weddings. But weddings are supposed to be a good time. They are supposed to be a simple and fun celebration of the unification of two people who have found love and who have decided to make it official.

Reading over my invitation, this has become a black tie affair, and very formal. I will not be able to wear any suit I might have in my closet. Instead, I will have to wear a tuxedo.

I do not own a tuxedo, and never would, so I would have to rent one.

My wife cannot pick out a simple, nice dress for the event. It must be a formal gown, like a ball gown.

She does not own a formal evening gown, and so we would either have to rent one, or buy one.

The cost of a tuxedo rental these days? About $200. The cost of a formal evening gown these days? Anywhere from $200-$400 depending on where you get it and what deals you might find.

And of course the evening gown is going to be a one-time, one-use thing. Who wears formal evening gowns anymore?

Besides that, the wedding will be held in the grand ballroom of The Drake hotel in Chicago. Rooms there per night? About $400. And since there would of course be drinking involved, it would just make sense to not try to drive to a cheaper hotel somewhere else, but to just stay at The Drake for the night.

But you can't just park your car. It's valet parking only. And if you are planning to stay overnight you can't park your car yourself either. It's $80 to have your car parked overnight, by the valet—and of course you have to tip your valet driver.

And it's The Drake. So, a proper tip is probably around $20-$30.

Not to mention, since Chicago is about 4 hours from where I live, I would likely just drive. With gas prices the way they are right now I'd probably spend at least $100 on gas.

And of course there is also the wedding gift to consider. We'd give anywhere from $100-$200. Considering the dinner menu which includes seafood, we'd likely wind up on the higher end of that gift.

Plus, they are requiring proof of vaccination for Covid-19, and if you can't provide that, you are required to do a rapid test at the door at a cost of around $100.

All said, my cost to attend this wedding?

Around $800. Not that money is an object for me. But it's just the point. It's way too expensive, and frankly way too formal for me.

I can think of far more things to do with $800 that would be a lot more fun than this quite honestly. And I also know there will be a lot of hoity-toity people attending this thing. I might be considered to be rich, but I have never hung around rich people—or people who present themselves as rich mostly. Because to me they are just fake and I can't stand them.

I have never flaunted my money. It is enough for me alone to know what I have.

It's just not my thing. The whole affair. The whole fiasco. The whole "look at me and what I have" thing.

I'm out.

So, I will simply send a card and make some excuse for my inability to attend, thank you very much.

Lead image courtesy of Pixabay, user Takmeomeo. Heart Wedding Marriage - Free photo on Pixabay