Being judged

Last weekend I was talking to a friend when I feel she was very upset.

She said she was tired of making excuses for not working out, and what am I doing about it? I told her I'm in the gym twice a week, and getting back in shape, and she said she'd never even worked out once in her life and she is a healthy size.

So I started thinking that maybe she doesn't know what she's missing. I know I am guilty of being judgmental. I am not a small person by any means. I've put on a little weight but I'm not anywhere close to an obese person.

My friend and I are of similar height and weights and one of my goals is to be a healthier weight than her. How is that judgement? The other thing I realized is I have been really judgmental about myself and my weight before.

I remember being overweight a lot of the time when I was younger. I don't want to get into all that, but there were some times where I wasn't at my healthiest. I was being selfish. I was hating my body for not working the way I thought it should. And I was getting sucked into the social scene by what was the "norm."

I am not ashamed of my past with weight issues but I also want to stop being so judgmental of myself. I should not judge myself for the mistakes I made in the past. I should use them to teach myself to do better in the future. So I thought about this when I was at the gym this week. I remember being overweight and unhealthy and how hard it was for me to get to the gym.

I hated myself for not trying harder. I was jealous of people who seemed to eat whatever they wanted, and just get by with a bit of exercise, and get so thin.

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