Why Many People Are Always Disappointed In Their Relationships

Many people often remark, that they have been disappointed again in their new relationship with their partner. If they have to experience disappointment over and over again, perhaps they should ask themselves, if they are to blame. How is it that they have to be disappointed in each of their partners. The answer to this question is very simple. They are looking for the right one, but they never find them, and that is precisely because, they are looking for someone, who meets their expectations in every way. They are looking for someone, who is perfect for them. They may fall in love and the relationship works for a while, but later they realize, that they haven't found the person they imagined for themselves. If they're looking for the perfect person for themselves, then they soon have to feel disillusioned, because that's not going to happen.

If they expect someone to be a certain way, and when they don't live up to their standards, they are disappointed. This is a very common and dangerous mindset. The "ideal" they have in mind, is not likely to ever exist for any of us. Even if they manage to find someone identical to what these people have in mind, they will still be flawed in some way. They will have their own set of interests and quirks, that these people won't like as well as having their own flaws.

It is possible that they will never find anyone to meet all of their expectations. Even if they did, they probably wouldn't be able to satisfy their deepest longings and desires either. So why would they bother looking? If they're not willing to accept someone for who they are, then they will just remain alone.

I'm not saying they should settle for mediocrity, but they need to realize, that their standards are extremely high. They need to lower the bar and accept the good, that is given to them. If they can do that, I can almost assure them, they will have no more disappointments in the future.

Does this mean they should lower their standards? No. They should still cherish the relationships, that they do have, but they should not set the bar that ridiculously high, because they won't find anyone, who can ever meet their needs. Instead, they should cherish the good, that they do have. Being in a relationship is difficult. There are many factors in a romantic relationship, from satisfaction to rejection to understanding.

Satisfaction In A Relationship

Satisfaction in a relationship is an interesting one. You may be satisfied in some aspects of your relationship, yet dissatisfied in others. This is common especially in long term relationships. For example, you and your significant other get along well with each other. You have a good time together and you're comfortable with one another. You're satisfied with this aspect of your relationship.

However, you don't love each other. You really don't. You would like to, but it's just not there. Perhaps you think you love your partner, but the feelings aren't as strong as they were in the past. This makes you dissatisfied since you would like to feel love. There are external factors, that could be causing this, such as the changing times or the lack of idealism, that previous generations had. But I believe at least some of the blame should be placed on yourself.

When you set the bar that high, it is impossible for anyone to meet it, except for that one person. That is the main problem. You found the one person, who could meet your impossible expectation, yet they don't feel the same way. This makes you even more despondent. But perhaps if you lowered your standards, you could find someone, who would make you feel truly satisfied. Who wouldn't want to feel that way?

Comparison In A Relationship

While setting the bar so high can be a problem, it can also be a crutch. You tend to compare every new person you meet to the one you have in mind. This is also a problem. For example, let's say you meet a person you find attractive. You have a tendency to think, but they aren't your dream man/woman. This is a silly and unreasonable thought to have.

However, rather than being happy for who you have, you continue to compare. You think how they aren't your dream man or woman. How they don't make you feel the "right" way. How you should only feel a certain way when you're with your dream man/woman. Ultimately, this leads to a vicious cycle of discontent and unhappiness. You continue to seek out potential mates, but you aren't being satisfied with any of them. Why bother trying if you're just going to feel dissatisfied with everyone?

So how do you break this cycle? Simple, you drop the unreasonable expectations that you have. Perhaps your dream man or woman doesn't even exist in this world. If they don't exist, then you can't be disappointed, when you don't find them. Matches are made up of two individuals not just for the physical aspect, but also the mental aspect.

While it's entirely possible you'll never find your other half, you shouldn't keep on the lookout for them. You should instead enjoy the people, that are in your life now. If you do that, then the right person will come along, when you're least expecting it.

Take Time To Learn Values And Expectations

The most important thing you can do to lower your stress levels with these matters is to learn what respects and values, that the person(s) that you're interested in have. Do they drink? Do they smoke? Are they a big part of any clubs or societies? Do they have a dog or a cat? Are they a tree hugger? Are they religious? Is this person liberal or conservative when it comes to politics? What are their moral and philosophical views on life?

These are all important things to know when dating. These things shouldn't be barriers to you, but the fact that you know them, shows that you're actively seeking out a relationship. You should find ways to learn more about one another. This doesn't necessarily mean you have a long conversation about the meaning of life. It can be as simple as asking a question about the other person's interests or something they enjoy doing.

By learning about one another, you're creating a foundation of trust. Trust is the most important factor in any relationship. If you're both comfortable with one another, then you'll naturally become closer. The most basic way of lowering your stress is to learn about the other person. Once you do that, the rest takes care of itself.

Thanks for reading!