The Dangers Of Gas Lighting: What Is It And Why Everyone Should Be Aware Of It

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Avatar for Peter-Molnar
2 years ago

Gas lighting is a manipulative tactic used to confuse and control a partner or spouse. It's a form of emotional abuse, that often escalates into physical abuse if not addressed early on. Have you ever wondered how to effectively deal with people who are trying to make you question your reality? Gas lighting is a form of manipulation that attempts to force someone into doubting their own sanity. It works by lying about something (or pretending not to remember) in order to make the other person question their memory.

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner consistently said one thing and did another? Where, over time, it became increasingly difficult to tell the truth from a lie? In this situation, you were being gas lighted. Gas lighting is dangerous because it eats away at the victim's sense of power, control, and self-worth.

Gas lighting is a term that gets thrown around a lot in everyday conversation today, but few people actually know what it is. In this article we're going to explore the dangers of gas lighting and why you should be aware of how it's used against you.

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How To Identify Gas Lighting

Gas lighting is a very dangerous and abusive form of manipulation. It is often used as a means to an end, where the abusive partner wants to see you question your own memory, sanity, and perception. The key is in recognizing the tactics being used against you and being able to respond accordingly.

For example, if your partner says, "You're too stupid to understand what's going on." That is, of course, a form of gas lighting. The abuser wants you to question your own perceptions and memories. If you respond by yelling, "You're a drunk and a liar!" That is also a form of gas lighting, but with a different desired outcome. The abuser wants you to question your own intelligence and power of reasoning. To fight fire with fire is not a good idea in these kinds of situations.

Instead, you need to look beyond the immediate abuse and see the larger goal of the abuser. What are they really trying to do? To humiliate you? To destroy you? They may not directly tell you that's what they want, but their behavior will always give you a much better indication of what's really going on.

Recognizing The Warning Signs

Recognizing the warning signs is an important aspect of being able to manage and overcome the abuse of others. There are several other important warning signs, that you should also be aware of as you evaluate the situation.

Gas lighting often occurs in cycles. The perpetrator will do something to provoke a response from the victim, and then the victim responds in kind. The goal of the abuser is to keep the victim reacting to them in order to avoid being exposed. The more the victim reacts, the easier it is for the abuser to maintain control. When the victim overreacts, it often escalates both the frequency and the intensity of the abuse.

Another aspect to be aware of is the abuser's mood. An angry or enraged abuser is a dangerous one to have around. That said, an appeased abuser is exactly what you want around. An appeased abuser is an abuser that can be manipulated more easily. This is because they will not do anything to jeopardize their hold on you.

You should also look to see how much control the abuser has over you. If they're not overtly abusive, but they exert a great deal of influence over you, this is something you should seek to curtail.

Why Gas Lighting Is Dangerous?

Gas lighting is a dangerous situation for anyone involved. It often escalates into other forms of abuse, such as physical abuse, emotional abuse and even suicide. The reason for this is simple: the victim is unable to recognize the danger of the situation.

The abuser is often times very manipulative, so the victim typically does not stand a chance. The abuser knows how to charm, how to threaten and how to seek to wear down the victim's resistance. The gas lighting is just one part of the manipulation.

There are several reasons why gas lighting is dangerous. One is that it is very difficult to identify. Many people who are being gas lighted do not recognize it as such. They see a partner who is acting irrationally and they don't know how to address it.

Another reason is that it is very difficult to get out of. If you're being gas lighted, it is unlikely that you'll ever be able to extricate yourself from the situation. Even if you somehow managed to get away from your abuser, you would still have to face any potential consequences for the abuse.

A final reason is that it is very difficult for those in the victim role to seek help. You may face social, professional, or legal consequences for reporting abuse. This gives the abuser the freedom to continue the cycle of abuse.

How To Deal With A Gas Lighting Partner

There are many aspects to deal with when it comes to dealing with a gas lighting partner. Most importantly, you need to establish a set of boundaries. That way you can tell where your limits are and the abuser cannot take advantage of you.

It is also important to be aware of the subtle differences in the abuser's behavior. An angry or enraged abuser is one that you need to be wary of, but a complacent one is a much more predictable and preferable one. The complacent abuser will typically not do anything to jeopardize the status quo.

The abuser's behavior is very telling, so you should pay attention to it. It is the changes in behavior, that you need to be most wary of. For example, if your abuser suddenly seems agitated by small things, this is a sure sign that they are trying to get under your skin.

It is also important to note that, while it is generally better to avoid confrontations with your abuser, sometimes it is necessary. Confrontation is typically the best way to handle an abusive partner, as it demonstrates to them that you will not be intimidated. However, there are times when a more indirect approach is necessary.

For example, if your abuser is becoming increasingly agitated by your attempts to draw boundaries, a better course of action might be to ignore the behavior and continue to do what you were doing. If confrontation is necessary, then it should be done with the understanding that you cannot physically fight a ghost.

If the abuser continues to become more upset by your response, then it might be time to escalate the situation. You could become angry back, or you could attempt to disengage yourself from the situation.

Conclusion

You have learned that it is important to be able to recognize the signs of a gas lighting partner. That way, you can avoid becoming entangled with one.

However, it is also important to understand, that even when you are able to recognize the behavior and disengage yourself from the situation, it doesn't guarantee, that the abuser will stop. In fact, the abuser is likely to increase in frequency and intensity of their abusive behavior as a result of your actions.

Thus, you also need to be prepared to escalate the situation when necessary. At times, the only viable option might be to leave the relationship entirely.

Thank you for reading.

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2 years ago

Comments

I heard this term for the first time, but have seen so many people involved in such kind of behaviour where they try to make people question their perception and abilities.

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2 years ago

So now you know what they have been through. It is very sad to know that it is even exist and certain people are practicing it.

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2 years ago

Sometimes a woman choose to stay though she know that her partner is a gas lighting, maybe because of LOVE. However, if that instance happen to me, I'll choose to save myself.

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2 years ago

Love is a very strong reason to stay with your partner. In fact it is the main reason, but I think love can be broken at some point if your partner is against you.

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2 years ago

The earlier you noticed it, the better you let go. It is indeed dangerous to live with a gas lighting partner.

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2 years ago

I hope you have never experienced that.

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2 years ago

I am thankful to God that I never experienced that.

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2 years ago

It's really important to recognized it peter so that we will know and we have a self awareness. We must be observable to less the situations lead to worst. I agree peter. Have a nice day.

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2 years ago

Thank you Ramona. Yes if we are aware of that we are in trouble and recognize it in time we should act as soon as we can.

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2 years ago

You're welcome peter. Yes it's better we need to be advance, like observe first to recognize the things

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2 years ago

I don't deal with those couples. I never did it. It just wasn't the right one.

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2 years ago

That's the best thing to do to avoid them.

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2 years ago

I have seen lots of cases of gas lighting in Korean Dramas. The key is to really look for 'red flags'. Because it always starts with small signs that looks 'adorable' or 'tolerable' bit it goes worse as time passes by, and the victim will have a really hard time getting out.

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2 years ago

I can imagine, that dramas are full of these things. I have seen it in some movies or series, but fortunately never experienced in real life.

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2 years ago

I think it's most common in relationship between young people, especially those people who grew up emotionally abused. They tend to do to others what they had experienced.

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2 years ago