No one is perfect and therefore, everyone has flaws and we all make mistakes. If someone were to ask you if you would face up to your mistakes, I am sure you would say, yes of course. By doing so, you think you can correct your mistakes, learn from them and become a better person. This is true, however it matters how you think about your mistakes and how you face them.
If something goes fantastically well, you'll get praise and nine out of ten people will be absolutely thrilled with your performance, which of course makes you feel good, positive about the words of praise, but if you get negative, demeaning, destructive criticism from one person, you'll be thinking about it and the words of praise will simply be swept out of the way and no longer apply to you.
It will leave you frustrated and depressed. You think to yourself, that even though you have done your best to succeed at the thing or task you have been given, there is still one person, who sees something wrong in you and finds fault in you. You are discouraged, but you may still think, that if the majority praises you, then I will correct that one mistake and next time it will be perfect.
Let's look at the other side of the situation, when you get nine negative reviews. Nine different flaws they find in you. In that case, how would you feel? Would you have a joyful moment and be happy, that you are now aware of your flaws, know what needs to be improved and walk away happy? Certainly wouldn't. Why not? Because you feel like you have too many mistakes and can't handle so many at once.
You feel as if the ground has been pulled out from under you. Your confidence is in tatters. You want to run away from the world, because nine people you know have seen nothing but bad in you and it makes you feel like a bad person. You wonder if anyone else needs you, if you have your values, if you are likeable, if you have a negative self-image.
There are two possible outcomes of this, if someone receives negative criticism. One is that they hide away and become withdrawn, and the other is that they try to prove at all costs, that they are worth something and can do the job, that they are supposed to do. They want to be accepted by others, because they do not feel worthy, they will use force and will to get others to value and accept them.
We call the latter narcissists, but this article is not about them, but about how to face up to our mistakes.
Let's look at the third scenario, where all your acquaintances, friends, colleagues, family members, everyone sees only the good and positive things about you and you don't get a single negative review. Now you get wings and you feel, that the world needs you, that you are valuable and everything is perfect. In fact, inspired by this, you will want to strive for even better, because you feel, that you are capable of even more.
Should We Face Up To Our Mistakes?
We've come to a point where I'm going to say something interesting and strange but, if you've been reading carefully, you will understand.
Yes, we have to face them, but I wouldn't call them mistakes. I would call it facing up to the way we operate. What we call a flaw in a person is an interesting question in itself.
When you start to think of yourself as something, that is wrong with you, you focus on what you don't like about yourself, what you hate about yourself. The result will be, that you will start condemning yourself and if you condemn yourself, you will not have a happy life. People who first find fault with themselves, they will not be able to count on the person they can count on the most, which is themselves.
When you focus on how you operate, you not necessarily look for your mistakes. There may be someone, who see these as mistakes, but other see them as your advantages.
Let's say you are a big dreamer, you have huge goals, that you want to achieve. If you are amongst those people, who say we cannot work with you, because you are not on planet earth, you are not realistic. These people will see you as a dreamer and they will say this is a big mistake in you. However others may say this is great, because you have a dream, you have a goal, that you want to achieve and this is a big advantage. So this is not necessarily a mistake, this is how you operate.
If you think, speak or act faster, than the average person, they might say I can't work with you, because you are too fast and I can't keep up with you. Please change this in you, this is a mistake in you. You see I would not call it a mistake. Again this is how I operate and yes I would slow down a bit, but this is certainly not a mistake.
If you are inpatient, people would say, that it is not a good nature, you have to change they can't work with you. However inpatient people want to solve their problems as fast as possible, so they are able to change their mind and act faster, than the patient ones. It can be an advantage too.
It is all relative, what we call mistake. It all depends, what kind of people we are working or being with.
What do you think about this topic. Do you have something in you, that you thought it is a flaw? Try to look at it from a different approach and ask yourself is it really a flaw.
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Then the really best way to go is to just do my own thing without depending to what they are gonna say like ALL the time. I mean, listening to suggestions, and reviews is also healthy, but taking everything to heart is not. Tgere are mistakes that really are ones, and there are those which are relative, like what you said. And it's mostly about how we decide and act on to things.