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Regain The Conversation From The Embarrassing Silence

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Written by   247
7 months ago

Some people don't really want to talk. That's a fact and we don't know how to get them to open up, so we resort to making them uncomfortable. We don't want to ensure their happiness or that they trust us, we want to make them being comfortable with us. However, in order to control a conversation, in order to get the people to talk to us, we need to regain their confidence first.

To understand how to regain the conversation from the embarrassing silence, we must first understand the reasons why people lose their voice. The causes of silence range from mild to severe and include social, cultural, linguistic and conversational factors.

If however the person is you, who struggle with the conversation flowing and you might be failing to make a bridge before you start reversing the conversation. Here's how you can overcome the embarrassment and put the conversation back on track.

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Gain More Confidence

We all have our insecurities. We all have insecurities about ourselves, which can manifest themselves in various ways. Sometimes these insecurities are subtle and not so apparent to the untrained eye. We might appear confident, when in reality we are very insecure. The way to spot this kind of behavior is by the way the person carries themselves.

The way you carry yourself can be a very good indicator of your level of confidence. This isn't to say that you are incapable of having a conversation with someone without having to resort to any sort of manipulation, this is simply the way that you choose to carry yourself when you are comfortable. If you are carrying yourself with the same body language and speech patterns as someone else who is very confident, chances are you are behaving in a very similar manner to them.

The reason this is important is that it allows you to identify and imitate the body language and the speech patterns, that will most likely lead to the other person being open to your suggestions and demands.

Confidence is an extremely powerful tool to have in your arsenal. It is actually quite easy to have, you just need to focus on where you place your confidence and how you are projecting it. There's no magic trick to being confident, but there are a few simple things that you can do everyday to help you on your way to being more confident.

Focus On The Positive

It can be very easy to start focusing on what you perceive to be the negative in any given situation. This will almost always lead to an unproductive and potentially dangerous state of mind. When you start doubting yourself, you open the door for the doubts of others to enter your mind. This is not a good place to be.

When you start to feel insecure, do your best to take a step back and view the situation from a more logical and rational point of view. If you do this, you will find that you are more secure. When it comes to saving the conversation with someone, it is the same thing. You have to take a step back and look at the situation from a more objective point of view.

The best way to do this is actually to pretend, that you are watching the conversation from outside of the situation. Try to think like a reporter instead of a participant. If you do this, you can often see the situation in a different light and can come up with more effective solutions.

When it comes to saving the conversation, this can be very useful. You can watch yourself from the outside, try different approaches, talk yourself through the situation and eventually regain the conversation.

Think Of Possible Approaches

When you are faced with a potentially awkward situation, you need to be able to fall back on some sort of approach. If you aren't successful in regaining the conversation, then you might have to revert to more aggressive behavior to get what you want. Fortunately, you have some options that might help you.

  • Change the subject: You might try and change the subject. This is a very popular option. It can be effective, however, if the other person is not willing to let the topic change, then it can be quite annoying.

  • Compliment the person: Another option is to compliment the person. This can be very effective, however, it has the same kind of risk as changing the subject.

  • Show interest: The last option is to show interest. This can either be done through genuine conversation, or through non-verbal communication.

While these might seem like the obvious options, you should not forget about others. These three options are probably the most commonly used, however you might be surprised to learn, that there are others.

The most effective ones are probably the last two options. Those are the only ones that guarantee a response from the other person. The others might work, but they are not guaranteed.

While the three options that I just listed are the most common ones, there are several other options. Here are just some of the many others.

  • Show Emotion

    When it comes to showing emotion, there are several ways that you can do this. The key is finding the right way to do it.

    You can express interest in something, by saying "Wow, I really like that" or "I really enjoyed that". This shows, that you are paying attention and you are a respectful listener.

    Or you can agree and show, that you are not being led by emotions, by saying "Yes, I agree", or "Indeed" depending on the situation.

    Or you can disagree and show, that you are not being manipulated in any way, by saying "No, I disagree" or "No, that's not right".

    The key is to find the right way to show the right amount of emotion, while not putting yourself at risk. Always be genuine and don't show false emotions just for the sake of the conversation or the other person's favor.

  • Be Genuine

Image source: https://www.inc.com/dave-kerpen/21-quotes-to-inspire-authenticity-transparency.html

Being genuine is a much harder trait to master, but an extremely important one. If you are not genuine, then the chances are very high, that you will be manipulated and unable to see it in time. Being genuine also ensures, that you will be liked, respected and admired. All of these are important criteria for having a pleasant conversation. This is not to say, that you will always succeed. Although having confidence is very important, being naïve is just as bad. You will make mistakes, but if you are aware of them and learn from them, then you will have a better chance of success. Try to have as many pleasant ones as you can. Be genuine. That is the only way to do it.

  • Don't Push

    It can be easy to want to have the conversation continue, to keep it at a pleasant superficial level. But doing this can actually have the opposite effect of what you want. You begin to seem pushy and the other person will unconsciously act against you in some way to push you away.

    This is one of the reasons, that the third option is often used to end the conversation. You are seen as being too eager and it is uncomfortable for the person to push you away. They might not even realize, that they are doing it.

    Another issue, that might come up is the person might try to turn the conversation into a more personal one. You will then find yourself in a difficult situation as you do not want to talk about yourself and are therefore at a loss for what to do.

    The best thing to do in this situation is to talk about the person, that is being discussed. Your mind might drift to the conversation, that led up to this one. Try to bring it back to the other person.

I hope you find these tips useful.

Once you have decided on the course of action, that you want to take, you have to think of the best way to do it. You can't just randomly blurt out whatever it is you are thinking. It might work, but it's unlikely that it will result in a successful outcome.

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Written by   247
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Comments

These are really useful tips. I always do find your articles to be very rich and full of lesson.

$ 0.00
7 months ago

Thank you Talon. I try my very best.

$ 0.00
7 months ago

You begin to seem pushy and the other person will unconsciously act against you in some way to push you away.

It seems that still many don't read anything from the posts but just write unrelated to the content comments. It should be embarrashing, yet they will not even notice this part in this article and still be pushy and write irrelevant comments.

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7 months ago

Yes it happends sometimes. If they can't leave a good meaningful and related comment, then just don't they can still upvote and show their interest that way.

$ 0.00
7 months ago

Thank you friend, for always supporting me. You were one of the closest to the day scheduled for my first BCH. It happened before, but it was by sheer magic.

$ 0.00
7 months ago

I just tried to be realistic about the average $10 range per article. Haha

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7 months ago

I badly needed this one when I'm talking back to someone else so I won't make the topic out from the conversation. Confidence? It seems like hard to find.

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7 months ago

Yes it is hard to find, but I only can say the same I said to Ellechim below.

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7 months ago

Confidence. Confidence, where should I find that?! Lol , just kidding. I find it hard to even talk to other people from within our church, so that goes to show I need a strong training in this area. It's hard to be comfortable with people I am really not comfortable with.

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7 months ago

I had that problem too. The more you talk to new people the more confidence you gain.

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7 months ago

I should start being more open and communicative then. 😄

$ 0.00
7 months ago