Negative Experiences And Overcoming Fear

Have you ever been afraid of something in your life? You don't have to answer, because I know the answer to that question. And the simple answer is yes. I am not talking about being terrified, while watching a horror movie or waking up sweating from your worst nightmare.

I mean the kind of fear, when you are afraid of something new. It could be a life situation, something that you have been put in charge of to get it done as soon as possible for a decision, because there are so many things depending on it, stress at work, how you are going to show up tomorrow in front of so many people, forming new relationships and there are a thousand other things, that you can be afraid of.

When Are We Afraid Of?

We are most afraid, when we are faced with something completely new. And because we are afraid of new things, things we have never seen before, things we have never experienced before, we try to push them away from us.

By doing so, all we do is putting ourselves in a situation, where we are alone and alone we are afraid, because there is no one to support us, no one to help us, no one to contribute to overcoming our fear.

Imagine yourself standing in the middle of a circle, surrounded by strangers. You don't know them, you don't know what kind of people are around you, so you can't trust them. The first thing you do is to try to get rid of them, by reflexively pushing them away from you, outside the circle.

This achieved nothing more, than leaving you alone in the middle of the circle. Now think of yourself in the same position again, but this time you are trying to get out of the circle. Everyone who was around you is now on the inside and you are on the outside. So again you are on your own.

Why Do We Do This?

Let's turn the clock back to the moment of our birth. From the moment we are born, a process begins within us. A process, where we begin to explore the world around us. We begin to slowly learn about the things that surround us. This learning and our actions are not yet conscious, because we are not consciously learning, but we start copying people. First of all our parents, because we are most in touch with them.

They will give us both good and bad. We will adopt or, if you like, learn their behaviour from them. If we see them as happy and balanced, we are happy and laugh, but if they are angry and upset, our mood will change and we will unconsciously adopt these behaviours.

You have probably heard others in your life telling you, that you are exactly like your mother or your father. I am not referring to the physical resemblance, but to the behavioural pattern. Of course, everyone develops a personality, but I think, that this also influences the development of a personality.

Think of it as your mind splitting in two. One part is you, with your desires and the discovery of truth, and the other part is your mum or dad. In some way, part of your unconscious mind will function in the way you saw and received from your parents. If there was a lot of negativity in it, you will become more fearful in your life and you will feel like nothing will work out, no one will be there for you, you will not get support from your friends and any opportunities that open up to you will not be attempted because of your fears.

What Was My Biggest Fear

I am going to share with you what my biggest fear was and I am sure I am not the only one, who experienced this. Speaking in public is not easy for everyone, even in front of a few people.

I have been in situations in my work, where I have had to do this and there was no way around it. In such cases, I felt my stomach tighten up before the speech and maybe a little shakiness was involved. This was because I was afraid. I was afraid, that I would not be able to say my thoughts as a whole, I was afraid, that my thoughts would get mixed up and I would make all sorts of garbled nonsense out of what I was saying.

This was because I didn't feel able to speak in front of people. I couldn't handle the implication, that it would make everyone look down on me. I felt that I lacked this ability and it made me feel ashamed. In short, my fear was because I did not feel at that moment, that I could do it.

This fear is really because it is nothing more, than a reflection of the negative experiences I had as a child, which my subconscious mind suppresses throughout my life and only comes up when I am faced with something, that could be challenging.

Why We Actually Have A Sense Of Fear

Earlier in this article, I mentioned that we should go back to our birth. Actually, babies have no sense of fear, they are not afraid of anything, because they don't know the consequences, for example if they fall from something or if they burn their hands. They have never had a negative experience before, so they are not afraid of anything. That's why they climb up everywhere, that's why they touch everything.

But as adults, we have lived through a lot and we know and understand the bad consequences. This is why we have a sense of fear. We long for the unknown, but we are afraid of the possible failures, that may come up, because we have already experienced, that something did not work out the way we had imagined or that we couldn't manage something.

How We Can Overcome Our Fear

Instead of turning away from life's new opportunities or trying to escape them because of our fears, let's face them head on. Don't let our negative experiences dominate us, because then they will determine whatever we face. Let's not take it as a fact, that we are destined to be this way and will not succeed, because of it. We do control our destiny and we shape our future. The more challenges we go through in life, the more experienced we become, the more we learn from them and the more courageous we become.

Fear can also be seen as when something or someone threatens us, we start to be afraid. Negative thoughts run through our minds about what will happen to us now, what will happen if the threat comes true.

It is important to stay calm and to control our thoughts. If we are able to do this, then once we have calmed down, we can change our negative thinking to positive thinking and stop stressing about what is going to happen and start thinking about what we can do to avoid the potential dangers and not be afraid.

This is where the law of attraction comes in. We are attracted to what we think about, what we really want and can achieve without fear.

Let that be the subject of another article.

Feel free to let us know what was your biggest fear and how you dealt with it.