Discomforting Silence

One of the most awkward situation we can easily get into is, when suddenly nothing is popping into our minds and we simply sitting there tongue-tided, feeling we are completely frozen down and lost for words. The more we think about what to say the harder for us to find ourselves back in the conversation.

Based on my own experience one of those moments can be created, when you are left alone with your friend's or your partner's friend. Even for a few minutes. The reason for that is, because you don't know each other that well and you don't have memories to talk about. You can't start a conversation with for example "do you remember when" or "this time last year we were at."

The problem is, that nowadays we are easily distracted or occupied with anything, that's happening around us. Back in the day for instance, you would pay a monthly subscription for a magazine to read. In these modern times it is enough to go online and immediately you are bombarded with the latest news or just simply log in to your favorite social media platform and there you go all those posts, interesting articles, engaging videos keep you settled.

You have heard the phrase before "I couldn't put that book down it was so captivating". This is what we are used to and whenever we stuggle to carry on with a discussion we are looking for something, that could immediately keep us busy. The easiest way is to grab our phone as it is handy and always with us.

To try to escape from our embarrassing moments, by looking at our device, we don't realize, that we keep us apart and pushing ourselves away from the person who is sitting in front of us. It could just make our circumstances a lot worse.

Tips to start a conversation

• Notice something interesting

Mentioning something unusual around you, could take you in a right direction to start chatting about what you see. Just say, that you are curious where is that come from or where did you get it from.

• Pay a compliment

Everybody likes to receive nice words about themselves, what they wear or what they have. This is a great opportunity to open a delightful communication.

• Ask an opinion

You saw a movie or read a good book recently. Find out if they did that too and ask them what do they think about it. They might show interest or not, but you both can express your opinions.

• Offer help

It is always a nice gesture to try to help out somebody. You never know if other people struggle. Don't ask if they do, but if you see them in a difficult situation offer your hand.

• Ask for help

With this technique you can make your other party feel useful. Do not ask something difficult or hard to do, but they will be more, than happy to help you out.

On the other hand sometimes silence can be useful too. If we are patient and wait a little, your partner could bring up some unexpected topics to talk about, that you may not wanted to ask in the first place.

If you just asking questions, that can easily turn into kind of like an interview type talk, which can be boaring after a little while.