The demon called 'fear'

Amanda! Amanda! Amanda!...

This was all we could hear from a distance. She had taken the last shot and was no more. What could be the reason behind her action? What prompted this decision? Some would say fate had played it's role again or death it's scorch but wasn't there another way out?...let the story tell.

It was about five minutes to seven and we were all on sit waiting for the last few minutes before our professional exams began. Our final year, a year to determine if we would be set free from the world of being an undergraduate, of which it is only necessary to be filled with much anxiety per determination although not in the same proportion for everyone.

You know this words they say that 'not all hands are equal', based on curtailing anxiety? It took it's full play in such scenario.

While sitting down comfortably at my spot, filled with much determination and confidence at what was about coming my way, something struck my attention. This picture was one I never expected or foresee. And to think that it was coming from this person, it was unbelievable, disheartening and also threatening. She was never a person to be seen in such situation. Was I that insensitive and selfish to that one person that meant that much to me, like It was either me or this person. Was there something not done properly? I knew we did make the necessary preparations, burning every bit of the midnight candle. Never did i know that the factor called fear can have it's full effects at such short notice especially on this person in question. A once bold and vicious person. It certainly isn't what I'm thinking or is it? I tried reaching out to her, making certain gestures to get her attention, but all efforts failed. She was already taken by this monster of which I can't fully say why. But why now? That's all I could think ...

That day I couldn't think, I couldn't project and the so called confidence and determination, I have lost them all. It took just one encounter such as this to change everything I was and had worked for. I was bothered cause her happiness should be my happiness and sadness my sadness. But I had to do something at least so that both parties didn't lose at the end. I had to write down anything I could find in my head rather than leaving the sheets empty. But what about the other person? I couldn't risk losing focus by gazing at her present predicament.

So then, after days of waiting and waiting with anxiety coupled with this person's absence and out of reach, the results finally came out. What was my fate and that of hers? Well now wasn't about me but about the other person. I glanced through the result sheets, searching profusely like a hunter for it's prey and then it hit me that this person had no result. It was as if she didn't report for the exams, she had nothing. Then i knew the situation wasn't funny anymore. Where was Amanda in the first place? Has she seen it before it appeared? I immediately ran heading to her house only to be caught by the most threatening and scary situation at Amanda's house. She was already set at taking her life. Her parents were present at the scene begging and pleading with teary eyes to see if she could change her mind or at least listen. The gun she held was already positioned to shoot, to take her life. I couldn't help but join her parents in trying to control the situation but it was as though my presence worsened the case. Amanda ran from the house, her mother running behind her and before we could take any step further, it was all over. She had made her decision, she had pulled the trigger. I couldn't even do anything to save the life of the one person that meant that much to me. It was all my fault. I had also played a role in the process that led to this. If only I was sensitive enough, if only I could see beyond the present. But then the demon was quicker, more smarter and more sensitive. I had lost. Both my precious jewel and against the demon. But did I know what this demon was? I guess I've just realized...