And my mother to me, 'If only you just believe'.
In thoughts...
Why will these words sound so simple and easy to comprehend but still seem difficult to put into action. How do one believe? That's just the question. Does it require a force coming from within? Or a firm affirmation that what will be will be. Like I just don't get it. Words fail me especially when it comes to describing this subtle overemphasized 'word'- believe.
Well, I guess it takes one or two, going to many experiences to actually know how and what believe is.
They say, the opposite of belief is unbelief, but where does doubt come in. For many of us who have learned and unlearned the many diverse definitions of belief but still swimming in doubt, Are we still naïve? I guess that's what it is.
I remember the times I tried believing in some certain things like love, success and words that seemed true, I was only rewarded with heartbreaks, failures and lies. Not just once or twice but many times. All I was comforted with was 'keep believing'. But how do I go about it when I don't even know what it means or how to perform this magic. Obviously I want love, I want success and I want truth after I believe. Isn't that what every other person wants?
The most painful aspect of this is that it works out for all those who keep telling those words to me but when it comes to me, it's like the table turns. Who are you to hurt me this way? You're just a word given much attention and I'm just the person trying to figure you out or at least use the best out of your kind gestures.
And one day it struck me. There must be something I'm not doing right. Why don't I ask questions on how they do it. So he said 'doubt', she said 'doubt' and Alas, there's the answer! I've always doubted before I even started believing and who wants to be treated that way. There must be a choice between both. It's either doubt or believe. Hmmm...
Doubt! Doubt! Yes you 'doubt'
I remember you every damn time! You kept knocking and knocking each time I tried putting believe into play.
It keeps coming in my subconscious like, knock knock, it is I 'doubt'. And me in my naïve state always thought that was the right voice leading me to the right direction. And so I'm left to doubt. I'm left to deviate from my course of believing even the unseen to be crushed by doubt. That's why i couldn't see any positive results from all my efforts. Nothing oh! nothing!
But then I've just learned to unlearn. And now I know when it comes knocking and learnt to leave closed ears in response, keeping my head straight up to actualize my focus.
Fortunately for me, I conquered doubt, I now belief in basically everything I want to come to me. I now believe in love, success and words cause they started working for me.
So hey you 'doubt'...
You've just lost.
