Trust is Earned and not just Given

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Avatar for PatsKy8135
3 years ago

I am sharing based on my personal experience when I was still working in an international school in Doha Qatar and it's a blessing for me to have met Filipinos as we could share our culture in the school.

The feeling of being able to have a Kabayan is very rewarding and comforting. At least when things got out of hand, you have someone to lean on.

However....

It's also very rare to find REAL and AUTHENTIC friends when you're abroad.

Let me share a glimpse of that moment in my work experience overseas.

One time, a colleague at work with whom I was surprised that she approached me saying she's from the Philippines.

Oh I was so excited to talk to her. We eventually clicked right away. I felt that we're connected in so many ways.

At some point, due to some unforeseen things with her own family back in our country, she has to borrow money from me due to some financial issues so I lent her an amount.

Two weeks after, she told me again she needed an extra amount of money almost half of our monthly salary for an emergency.

Hearing what she told me, I felt the need to do something for her. As it was midweek, and I had already sent 3/4 of my salary for my housing project back home, her only option was to borrow from someone else and I have to be her "co-maker" as her term, *meaning, if in case she won't be able to pay the full amount at a given time, it would be my responsibility to do so.

As a friend, I trusted her words. True enough, she was given the condition upon a statement that failure to pay on a given duration, I would do the necessary.

Exactly after three months, the person who lent her an amount told me she failed to pay and had given too many excuses. I was aghast as I have found her bought a *new iPhone at that time.

All the while I thought, she had already paid her debts.

Hmmm, I don't want to think otherwise but my instinct told me something was not right at all. I tried to check her during free time yet she's always busy on the phone. Seemed things have changed drastically I was not prepared for. I still gave myself benefit of doubts somehow.

Anyways I was thinking, as long as she's still at school, I know she can pay. She has to! or else I will face the consequences. Jeez!

it was not a big deal, after all, money can be earned but TRUST once broken, its hard to build again.

On the other hand, apart from borrowing money, she used to ask me for covering her whereabouts saying that she needed an extra class for her family's extra expenses. Of course, as a friend, I believed on whatever she told me as I understood her circumstances. So I didn't bother to ask about it as well.

Whoah! double strike, as I don't want to judge her after all. She seemed so nice and caring but then again hearing from some colleagues at work, that she has an "extra job"!

God knew I don't want to judge or believe them because she's my friend.

Maybe it was just a misconception.

Later did I realize she has been using my name for her personal matter of not doing an *extra class but actually meeting men one after the other.

So I had enough! We we're both called at the principal's office and momentarily it was found out that she breached the contract. Unfortunately, she was terminated from the school and I was left with a responsibility to pay her debts as well.

That season of my worked experience abroad was my learning curve that "TRUST" must be earned and not simply given.

*This is a reflection of my work abroad story that up until today even working here in Seychelles though I rarely met Filipinos in the school as we're only 5 teachers in all state schools all over Mahe, trusting colleagues takes an extra mile to see always things in the right perspective.

#KuwentongOFW

*How about you guys, how's your story overseas so far when it comes to meeting new acquaintances?

How did you deal with a story like mine? (I also have good parts to share, stay tuned for my next blog)

Images of two women together and a woman on her phone: Photos by Amika Filkins from Pexels

Photo of a woman holding money; Photo by Alexander Mils from Pexels

Lead Image from Unsplash

Badges earned by the author and property of Uptrennd University.

Do not use without permission.

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3 years ago

Comments

I have met several friends, and colleagues to stick around..but everytime I meet, it makes me feel like i can redeem myself from previous failed friendships and relationships is what makes it enticing and you get some chance to retell your jokes.

And be sure to write articles more than 800 words otherwise you get 10 times smaller tips from random rewarded than the people who write longer articles.

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3 years ago

hey @Meta_comic yay thanks for your reminder guess it's when I published it late this morning, almost went to bed 1;30 am my time and I didn't double checked I've written the full article. Some parts were actually missing. Jeez, my bad.. but I truly appreciate your words dear. You made my day. Thanks for checking out on my post as always. Yours are always topnotch! have a blessed Sunday

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3 years ago

It is wonderful if we have a friend next to us whom we can unreservedly trust. However, sometimes due to a wrong word, look or reaction, mistrust gets involved, so we have the impression that one lie is connected to another.

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3 years ago

hey @bakanica, yes somehow it's easy to judge actually specially if we don't truly know the person thus I gave myself a benefit of doubt as well. Sorry I think my article as half way written, kindly check further on the part where she got terminated actually. Anyways I learned my lesson also from such experience. have a good day dear. thanks for dropping by.

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3 years ago