Introduction to Me Pandora aka Charlie

I am a Mother of 4, my eldest is 18yrs old and my youngest is 18 mths old and I have to say they are all one of my great achievements in life.

in my younger life I often had issues which indicated that I was suffering from form of PTSD, I faced a lot of challenges during my early life which lead to me being diagnosed with a life long mental illness of Bipolar 2 at the age of 17yrs old, I then set about a new challenge of learning to cope with this illness as take medication to keep me stable.

At 20yrs old I gave birth to my first child on 20th May 2003, I instantly fell in love with my son Reece, finally someone I could love unconditionally and would love me unconditionally. Becoming a Mum was amazing but having a very unsupportive partner made my life hard, I worked full time and after 7 weeks after Reece was born I had to return to work, one of my biggest mistakes, this would be the first time in a long time I became unstable.

One of the issues with bipolar is if you start to stable you tend to think medication is needed anyone, this is so wrong because you will feel fantastic for a while and then comes the fall, I wouldn't ever wish this on my worst enemy.

so after getting some medical attention I was then placed back on medication, it took me a little longer to become stable due to hormones.

At 23yrs old I then had my second son Max born on 29th August 2006, he arrived 3 weeks and 5 days early and weighted a whopping 8Lb 3oz, it was amazing Labour and very calming with me and my Mum. with Max I decided I would take some time out so I took 6 months off to be with my son, this helped me bond and my mental health.

I worked within the insurance industry at this point, I had worked hard and was working for a company that put extreme pressure on me, I needed a change in career this was when I spotted a advert for a job at our local doctors surgery. Best move I made as I started as a receptionist when one of the GP's asked me why I didn't train to be a nurse, I believe he thought was rather helpful with the patients and had a hunger for knowledge surrounding my job, so I started the ball rolling.

I started out as a healthcare assistant and did all my training hands on within the surgery or local hospital, I found I loved my choice. At the age of 26yrs old I fell pregnant with my Daughter, now this wasn't planned so came as a shock however I gave birth to my 3rd child on the 25th August 2009 to a beautiful baby girl.

I continued my career in a medical setting but then decided to work with children and adults of disabilities, this was one of the challenges I found most rewarding. however during this time I was headhunted for a job within a nursing home. in 2016 I decided to take this position and during this time I was suffering with relationship issues with my children father.

The father of my children wasn't he nicest of people, he was extremely controlling and abusive, in the early part of 2018 I managed to gain the courage to ask him to leave however he wouldn't leave, for the next 3 months I slept separate from him but he continued to act like we was together even if I told him we wasn't.

In May 2018 I managed to remove my ex partner from my house, this Is when another big change in my life happened and I was silly enough to think I could cope without my medication, he was a vile human being and went as far as to tell complete fabricated lies about me all over social media, this was when I regained my power I didn't feel the need to reply to any of this or set anyone right because why should I these people didn't matter to me, so I went about being a full time single Mum.

in June 2018 was a month that I met the most perfect human being, I met Carl Aka Panky on a mobile game of all places lol, it felt amazing that this 28Yr old man was interested In me, I struggled to understand but I went with it.

Carl lived hundreds of miles away so he took the long journey on the train to come and meet me, I was super excited my children was staying with family so I knew it would be just me and him, I waited on that platform like a 16yr old all excited. Carls train pulled In and among all the commuters I spotted him coming towards me, it was definitely love at first sight all though I would have told you that sort of thing was nonsense before hand.

first year of mine and Carls relationship he was still serving in the army so we would only see each other at weekends, with weeks apart. 9 months in to our relationship I found out I was pregnant, now this wasn't planned and so early in a relationship was not good also the fact carl really was interested In having children however we spoke in-depth and decided we would continue the pregnancy.

6th December at 10:50pm after a really horrible labour Emilia was born weighing 7LB 14.5oz and she made her entrance screaming, I think she was comfortable in my tummy lol, a month after Emilia was born we started to hear about Covid~19 and within months we was in insolation, this turned out to be a blessing for Carl who works in London he would get to spend time with his daughter and the bond they've made is amazing, I absolutely love watching them together its heart warming and most of you have followed Emilia grow up on social media, she has a massive fan base.

its now 2021 and Emilia is 18 months old and makes our lives so much better, she is such a funny, kind and happy baby and her and Carl are a right double act, his an amazing Dad to Emilia and and awesome step dad to the 3 older children, we take each day by day and are due to have our restrictions lifted in the UK on Monday so I suppose you could say we are heading for some form of normality if there is such a thing....

so that's me in a nutshell :)