I haven't written anything in the past couple days. Truth be told, I haven't been able to write. Hard as I try, the words just wouldn't come. Maybe it's just that I'm out of ideas. Maybe I just can't put into words half the things I want to write about. Perhaps I'm lacking inspiration.
Or maybe it's the constant pain wracking through my head that's making things difficult. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get rid of this headache. I suppose I shouldn't complain too much though, it's a nice change of pace from the migraines that I normally get. I do wish it would go away though.
For the past week, I have been drained of energy through the day. I've been exhausted no matter what I do. Between the exhaustion and the headache, writing has been very difficult. That's why I'm writing this actually. I'm hoping if I can try and push everything else out, maybe I can get something done. Writing anything is better than writing nothing at all, right?
On another note, the constant exhaustion has made me think that I need to focus more on self care. My fitbit app has a new mindfulness tracker which I have decided to put to use. Even if it's just ten minutes a day, I want to take the time to focus, clear my mind and just let go of all my worries, fears and stress. I'm interested to see how much of a difference it will make in the coming weeks.
Self care is important. Over the years, I've learned that the hard way. Too many times I have burned myself out and neglected myself to put others first. It's not a good idea. Once I burn out, I'm no good to anyone. I used to think I was being selfish by taking time for myself, which is why I never did it.
Now I realize, if I don't not only do I suffer by so will those closest to me, whether because I can't help them because I'm too stressed out, or because I start feeling pulled in too many directions and get grouchy to the point I don't want to bother with anyone.
It's not fair to them, or myself. Sadly, this little piece has taken me ten minutes to write, but hopefully it will do it's job and I can start writing more again.
I recognize a lot in what you wrote. I try to take care but at those moments I need it most it's not possible. I am glad my children are older now. I am in bed long before them at times gone (unconscious for hours and hours). I hope the headache will leave you if you spit out what bugs you and do not forget to drink enough. The dark may be a big help too.