Headaches, Tears and Shopping

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Avatar for Paganprincess
4 years ago

I haven't posted anything in a few days and I am sorry for that. I've been having a lot of headaches again. They're easier to handle than the migraines but only by a small amount. There's always the fear that it will turn into one as they sometimes do.

I've also been busy helping my daughter with her schooling and taking care of things around here. I'm doing my best to make some extra money by doing online surveys so I can start putting more aside for Christmas for my daughter as well so it's left me with little free time.

My husband and I have decided that what we recently bout for each other will be classed as our Christmas gifts even though it is VERY early. He's got a Macbook now and I finally upgraded from a Charge HR fitbit to a Versa 3.

Though classing things we have gotten so early is strange, it does allow us to say ours is out of the way and focus on things for others. Especially our daughter. I would love to track down a virtual pet step tracker for her since I know how much she wants one. I'm going to have to do some research to see if I can figure out the best one to get her. If anyone knows of any, feel free to make suggestions if you want.

I know we'll be getting her clothes and socks. LOTS of socks since she is always losing them somehow. Lucky for us she actually likes getting new socks. I also want to get her a rug for her bedroom but I have to get her to keep her room clean first so I can actually see the floor.

Sadly my plan for her little surprise Halloween party is gone. I spent a month and a half planning and buying things but my daughter has been sneaking into our bedroom and getting into the candy I had put in a goodie basket intended for the 31st. There's barely anything left and I won't be buying more. When I explained to her what it had been for, she was very upset and started crying.

I hate seeing her cry but it's important she understand. I comforted her and told her I loved her while also letting her know that stealing is NOT okay. Even if it's from 'mommy'.

I'll still do a little something for her but it's not going to be a surprise anymore. Originally her dad discovered she had been getting into it and she admitted it but said it was okay because 'it's mommys'.

I'm honestly not sure where she got the idea that it's okay to steal from me. She would never touch anything of her dads so it's not just because we are her parents. We have talked to her about it numerous times so this time we made sure she knew what she ruined for herself.

The thing is, it's not just her missing out. I spent all this time and effort because I wanted to see the look on her face when I surprised her and now that won't happen. At least, not the way I wanted it to. Most of the decorations aren't up yet so maybe I can still do that part at least.

I'm still planning on finishing decorating and we might just have a Halloween Wars marathon while we eat what is left of the treats. It's still better than nothing and gives us some family time in a fun way.

Monday I also start a new StepBet game. I took a small break and then bought the membership. It allows me to lower my steps again among other benefits which I might get into another time.

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Avatar for Paganprincess
4 years ago

Comments

Sometimes even how we treat and teach our child nicely there are circumstances that they are influenced by their peers or other people around them. In your situation, her grandma twisted the straight line you created for her.

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4 years ago

I know. But I'm hoping I can get my daughters back on the right track.

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4 years ago

You try while she is still young.

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4 years ago

The fact your daughter steals from you is a sign to me she doesn't respect you. My children never steal from me and if they would do that (or done that) I would have punished them (and taken all their stuff away). I know one child did take from the eldest. That one was raised too good hearted. Candies, clothes, everything even if it was hid. That was the moment war started in our house cause that child had a nasty habit by labeling it's own candies, property with notes with the text: Hands off this is mine!

Perhaps for a change you can do something else on Halloween. Bake cookies, play a game, make her search for a candy after she solved a riddle or did a task.

I hope with fewer stress the headaches will be gone. Better start saving a year ahead for events like these and keep it simple. Christmas should be about love, sharing, not about presents and that's why I do not give my children presents.

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4 years ago

I am doing what I can with her. In all honesty, her grandmother did a lot of damage with how we were raising our daughter. She was pretty good until her grandmother taught her it was okay to disrespect me. Since her grandmother treated me badly, I guess she figures it's okay for her to do. We have already dealt with her grandmother on this so it's not an issue now but the damage is already done clearly.
We will still do something for Halloween but I'm working on the details still. Christmas is mostly about love and sharing but we still like to give her some gifts. She needs new clothes anyway the way she is growing. My husband needed a new laptop and I needed a new fitbit. For us, we mostly buy things we need and do the same for our daughter though we do give her a few things that are more for fun. Christmas isn't really my thing to begin with honestly. If it weren't for our daughter, I wouldn't really bother with it at all. Too many bad memories attached to most holidays. The ones that revolve around family, anyway.

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4 years ago

It hurt to read that she cried, but I guess this discipline will make her drop the act soon.

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4 years ago

Hopefully. I have tried to raise her to be empathetic and caring but, people ultimately grow into whoever they are going to be. What they've been taught can only go so far and we all make our own choices as to what kind of people we are going to be. I'm not giving up on her though.

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4 years ago