The waves crashed along the shore lapping at Rileys' feet. Though the water was cold she made no move to distance herself from the incoming surf. The truth was she needed this.
The past year had been particularly bad and being here, near the water gave her a special kind of peace and comfort that she had yet to find elsewhere no matter how hard she tried.
The steady sound of the waves and the cool breeze carrying the scent of salt caressing her skin made her feel like the entire world was still for a short, glorious time.
Her mind wandered to all the things that had brought her here. In the past ten months or so, everything had fallen apart. She'd lost everything, including her sense of self. She'd had a full on breakdown and there had been nobody to turn to.
Things hadn't been good for a while but one loss had pushed her over the edge.
Tragedy and loss changes people.
People had said they were there naturally. 'Anything you need.' 'I'm here for you.' 'If you need to talk...' She'd heard them all when her father passed away which had been the final straw.
They were just words. Something you were expected to say but never really meant. They were as empty as she had been when she'd lost him.
She had done her best. Tried to be strong and there had been plenty to keep her busy so she'd been okay. Mostly. She had cried but that was normal. That was 'healthy.'
When there's planning to be done, paperwork to fill out and people around, it's easier. You don't have time for the pain to fully consume you completely because there's just too much else to do. Distractions to keep you afloat. Until they're gone.
It wasn't until later, when everything was said and done that the pain had truly hit. When she'd realized it was too much, she'd reached out but the world had moved on and they expected her to do the same.
'Life doesn't just stop because he's gone.'
She had trouble with that. She knew it was true. She still had to get up in the morning. Still had to work and eat and sleep but it felt off, hollow.
The only advice she had gotten was to keep living.
'It gets easier.'
Does it? Does time heal those wounds or do we just grow accustomed to the pain?
She supposed that was the main reason she was on a beach all alone at ten at night. Nobody seemed to have the answers, or if they did, they refused to tell her. Maybe in some way, she was looking for answers from the sea.