A Glimpse Into My Mind

I spend more hours than I can count looking for the inspiration to write. So often it eludes me and when it does, I'm left annoyed and frustrated. It seems that when I can't find anything to write about, I overthink which only increases my problem to begin with.

My husband is probably tired of hearing me say I have writers block. Sometimes the words just won't come or when they do, they just aren't good. Sometimes it's impossible to salvage them.

At times it's also my lack of confidence that stems the flow. I will second guess everything and like nothing of my own words be it the story or the feeling the words leave me with.

Lack of courage has stopped me more times than I care to admit. At least with that, I can always save it until later rather than erase the words forever. That way I know I can always change my mind and post it later. Even if I don't, I can still look back at it.

I've deleted pieces in the past because I didn't like them or because I felt like I would never have the courage to show them to anyone. Looking back, I wish I hadn't deleted them.

I've even had times where I've posted things or shown them to people when I didn't like them and occasionally they will turn out to be the ones others liked the most.

I've learned that when I can't seem to write, my best option is to simply put down the pen or walk away from the keyboard for a while and find something else. A distraction like a TV show, movie, or a book. All of these things can help draw inspiration but that's not the only reason to do it.

Sometimes it helps to have a way to not just inspire yourself but to allow your mind to reset itself in a way.

Sometimes this process takes longer than I'd like. I've gone full months writing very little that I end up keeping simply because it just isn't good.

Sometimes I will sit at the keyboard and just listen to the keys clack as I tap away. My husband hates it as the sound drives him nuts. It's one of the things we have a difference of opinion on. I find the sound soothing while he finds it grates on his nerves.

Luckily for both of us, I do most of my writing either while he is at work, or asleep. It also makes for a quieter environment for me. I could listen to music with headphones but then I have to take them off every two seconds because there's something that either he or my daughter have to tell me that just 'can't wait.'

Another flaw of mine is my inability to stick with just one project at a time. I can be in the middle of a story and my brain will think of something that truly doesn't fit with it. I'll write it down anyway and go back to it later. My phone and notebooks are filled with half done ideas and a quarter of those will likely never be made into anything.

The main reason for this is because sometimes it's hard to grasp and feel the emotion I was feeling while I originally wrote it which can make it difficult to set the tone properly again. Or because I go back and realize I actually hate what I wrote and I end up deleting it.

My mind has too many places it wants to go, too many thoughts I'm not sure how to put into words and too many emotions to always make a coherent piece.

Sometimes organizing my thoughts is a chore in and of itself and there are days where I just can't do it.

This piece right here is another example of what I do when I am struggling to write a story or anything else that just isn't coming out. Doing this helps me open my mind, and even if it doesn't help right away, at least I feel a little lighter for having written something.