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The Devil's Advocate

23 28 exc boost
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Written by   187
2 months ago

[WP] "Human, I have arrived for your soul!" the demon exclaimed holding the contract signed ten years ago. But the man handed him the soles from his shoes while pointing to a typo in the document.

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"Well, this... is quite an awkward situation, huh?" the man said.

Ka'arnage stared at the monster, anger welling up in him. The fire on his head burned bright blue now, and he squeezed the contract tightly in his hands, frustrated at his stupidity and at the fact that he was thwarted by a man who had barely only walked this earth thirty-and-eight years as opposed to his thousands of years in existence.

"Look...ah, demon: I don't mean to rub it in, or anything, but a deal's a deal and I'm clearly playing by the terms of our agreement..."

"But we agreed... You said, mortal, that you'd offer your soul in exchange..."

"No, I signed that agreement. In exchange for a shitload of money for ten years, the price I had to pay was my soles, and nothing more. That's what we have there - in that pile."

In a corner of the room, a heap of shoe soles was stacked, almost mocking Ka'arnage who was one of the most favored contract soul collectors in all the Nine Circles of hell.

"But that could also mean..."

"Ah yes, Ka'arnage. You could take off the soles of my very feet, and then, like a chaos-seeking demon, take my soul inadvertently, but then the agreement did not include blood. Any blood loss suffered during the extraction will breach the agreement," the man said, looking smug as he sank into the chair. "Bourbon?" he asked, raising a glass towards the infuriated demon.

"I'm in a good mood to rip your head off your shoulders, mortal. Do not push your luck."

"Temper, temper... Look, you simply cannot blame me. I guess there weren't any preschool classes when you were chased from... up there, were you? I guess you really didn't learn to write," the man said, gingerly sipping his Bourbon and enjoying how events had turned out.

Never did he think such a golden opportunity as this one would fall directly into my laps.

Allen was battered, shattered, and scattered when he reached out to them. A failed marriage within two years of the damn union, a failed college education, he was the picture of a sad story - the kind that made people laugh.

Until he reached out to them.

It was at the pagan convention that Allen met Sansa. He was a satanist, or so he said. He kept telling him that the only way he could achieve the prosperity he sought was through a contract signed with satan, at least if he wanted it fast.

Allen was to write a letter containing my want in which the first and last words were inked with his own blood. The letter was to be kept under his pillow, while I was supposed to draw a pentagram on my bedpost.

That night, he appeared in Allen's room.

Ka'arnage, adjudicator of the Inferno. He looked like a giant bat that had been barbequed but managed to survive; he smelled like an abattoir and there, I made a mental note to try not to go to hell. He was the one sent to give me the terms of the contract - for the next ten years, I would be stinkingly rich, highly influential, and very popular. And then I'd die.

Normally, he wouldn't have taken such a stupid bet, but Allen saw the mistake.

"Sole" instead of "soul"

Hah.

As he put on his shoes, preparing for another day of overseeing his multimillion-dollar business, he completely ignored the demon in his sitting room.

"You will not get away with this, mortal."

"Keeping on seeking soul-ace in that, bro. I've already won," he joked, laughing off.

His joy was short-lived. As he reached the stairs, he was laughing so hard that he missed the 'Wet Floor' sign, and by the time he noticed, it was too late. Allen slipped and landed, fracturing his skull multiple times as he fell down the stairs.

And at the feet of Ka'arnage, he landed.

"H-how..." he murmured, feeling his soul already leave the body.

"You wouldn't have slipped if there were soles on those shoes."

******

@Leo_kitti, @Hanzell, @Gwenie I know it's been a while so enjoy this!

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Written by   187
2 months ago
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Comments

Hahahaha, it was really the last laugh of mortal, literally because he died on the spot. You made me laugh there huh 😂. Then the last laugh goes to, Ka'arnage the demon, seriously.

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2 months ago

😂😂

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2 months ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂 the heck man, what have you done to a demon

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2 months ago

Good one

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2 months ago

The WP already made me laugh 😂😂 Wait, I haven't read the story yet 😂😂

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2 months ago

😂😂 Read it, it's funny

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2 months ago

Done reading. 😂😂😂 The lesson I learned in this story is so deep. It is to never trade your sole. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm confident that I am not a satanist, but why am I happy that the demon won? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂😂

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2 months ago

It's understandable why you're happy at the man's demise: he should never have taken that deal. My mother used to say that the devil will give you shoes and take your legs in return. He should have known the risks, but he thought he was being smart 😭😂

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2 months ago

Yeah. 🤣🤣

Hmm.. wait. I think I remembered something. 🤔 I think I've read somewhere that many famous artist sold their souls to satan. In exchange of fame and money. Just like this one 🤔🤔

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2 months ago

Great story dear. I love to read it.

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2 months ago

His joy was short-lived. As he reached the stairs, he was laughing so hard that he missed the 'Wet Floor' sign, and by the time he noticed, it was too late. Allen slipped and landed, fracturing his skull multiple times as he fell down the stairs.

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2 months ago

Hahaha, he could've won if he takes off his shoes right after he removed the sole 😆 because wrong spelling is wrong, but then he isn't that wise after all 😆😅

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2 months ago

the devil will always find a way around these things 😂 he lost his soul in the end

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2 months ago

Yeah, haha poor man got tricked by his own moves 😂

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2 months ago

😂😂

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2 months ago

Oh come on, it is that you do not play with the evil one. He did not lose everything.

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2 months ago

That's the issue - you can't enter a deal with the devil and lose a lot more than you gained. As my friend says, satan will give you shoes and take your legs in return

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2 months ago

It is what says a phrase of our church you should not allow yourself to make deals with the devil. He will always look for a way to win!

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2 months ago

exactly

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2 months ago

Haha. Weirdly this gives me joy😂 like one stupid kind of joy that the demon actually won 😂😂😂 soles indeed..

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2 months ago

I understand 😂😂😂 When I saw the prompt, I said 'no', this guy can't escape scot-free 😂

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2 months ago

😂😂😂

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2 months ago