Choices

[WP] People always portray Death as a scary Grim Reaper with a black hood and scythe. But today on your deathbed, you learned that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

At death, the essence of life becomes clear. Not the reason why we are here; no, some people never get to find that out. But the true value of life - the things that matter become clear.

What becomes clear is that earthly possessions are vanity.

The bullet-proof car I had wasn't accident-proof. It could prevent the bullets from hitting me, but it couldn't avoid the head-on collision with the trailer that had a failed brake. It couldn't prevent the crushing of my internal organs.

It couldn't prevent my death.

I watched my family and friends in the ward, crying and begging me to fight it. But one cannot fight nature. Life and death are two sides of a coin, neither can stay without the other. To every beginning, there must be an end.

I wanted to live, for them at least. But I was in pain, and the suffering was too immense. As I felt my heart become weaker, I watched as a lady entered the room. She was dressed in a black gown, with a long, healthy white rose in her palm.

She walked up to me and smiled.

"I understand that you're willing to go now."

"Willing? Do I have a will or a choice in this?"

"You can choose to live. You know that too. But you don't want to. You can't face the stark reality that all you had amassed in this life was vanity and that you will be crippled for life if you live. Your choice is to go, Dan."

"Who are you?"

"A courier. Your tour guide. Whatever you want to call me. I'm here to ensure your transition to the other side."

"So... you're death?"

"Ha, a common misconception," she said, her face remaining expressionless. "I am just one of many reapers sent to transport the soul of a dead human to the other side."

"Then what is death... when did he come? Am I dead already? I thought you said..."

"I have set before you life and death..." she said, looking at me. "Don't you remember that verse?"

"I do, but what does it mean?"

"In this scenario, life and death are in your hands. You are your death, and you are your life. At least your choices are. I only came here because am acknowledgment was made in your soul that you wanted to die."

"So what if I don't?"

"Then I live you. But I'll be really curious though - people like you who change their minds in this..." she said, looking at the state of my body. "...condition are very rare. I'll be watching you from the edge of the afterlife to see how long you can keep up with your decision."

"You must think I'm a fool for being afraid to die."

"When you see this a thousand times every day, the effect wears off," she said, her face remaining expressionless.

"I have a feeling you're trying to comfort me. Like you're reaching out to me to make this feel better about...dying. But your face doesn't really help matters," I said hopefully.

She just looked on.

"... oh sorry, I'm quite dense. I have problems phrasing my..."

"I understand your quirks, Dan. I'm not here to judge you, that job is for Him. That's why I'm here; not only to transport you but to make the transition a lot less terrifying. I'm sorry if my face doesn't make it look that way, but I'm not another human like you. I am a spirit - I just am. No emotions, feelings, barely even any thoughts, except on what I'm about to say. I'm just an existence."

"Spirit..."

"If you're worried about leaving your family behind, then don't. You're leaving two-thirds of the entities that make up Dan Nichols with them. They'll have your physical body to mpurn and bury. Your soul goes on - it's what I've come to get. But your spirit... it stays here, and it will never depart."

"Spirit... does it mean they will see it?"

"You don't want your people getting heart attacks, do you? It just means sometimes they can feel your presence. It also means that when those kids at the orphanages draw water from their wells and graduate from college, they will acknowledge the love and kindness that sponsored them by willing 50% of his possessions to the orphanage. When people remember your good deeds - your legacy, if you will call it, it is a product of that spirit. They'll always be able to feel it, especially those you were close to."

"I guess I also won't be able to control the actions of my spirit...."

"At death, all three become individual entities. The body - a mere container housing these two, a container filled with hormones that trigger good and sinful thoughts - dies. The spirit that advocates for good remains. The soul that makes the choices at a=every moment goes on to be..."

"...judged?"

"Yes."

I exhaled deeply.

"Anxiety won't do any good now. You were a good man, at least by my standards. I have no idea of how things are done there, at the 'court'. But you should have no fear of going there. Your good deeds are what's going to speak for you, not your attendance sheet at church."

I laughed a little. When I turned to look at her, she was smiling.

"I thought you said you didn't have emotions," I smiled back.

"Human expressions are the most beautiful thing to copy. I heard smiles make the world go round."

"I didn't hear that. But you know, maybe it is true. And why are you dressed like this, with a rose in your hands>"

"Ha, another common misconception. Although our dress code is black, and we are supposed to carry our tools of 'reaping', it's up to us to choose. The very first one of us, Grim, has an unsmiling face, a terrifying scythe, and a black robe. That's who you're talking about. I prefer this black gown and a white rose. Always adds a peaceful touch."

"But isn't he the main reaper or something?"

"We all form one entity - the reaper. Omnipresence isn't something gifted to s and millions die every day. Even Grim isn't that fast, and having souls wandering about isn't our idea of 'a good job'. So we all work together."

"The white rose is what you use to reap?"

"Yes."

Silence.

"I'm sorry I've taken up so much of your time..."

"Stop. As I said, I'm here to make the transition easier. And, I actually enjoyed this. You're not like others who cried about how early they died, or how they didn't deserve to die when they did. You just had a mature conversation. That's respectable."

"You said life and death was a choice. What of people that get crushed to death, or those blown apart by suicide bombs. Or soldiers and civilians hit by stray..."

"I get your point. Sometimes death is instant because the person's vessel is too damaged to function. Or because the injury has affected very important systems in the vessel that cannot be repaired. But I stand by my words. When a person decided to look out the balcony when a shootout is going on, it was a potential choice to die. Getting hit by a stray bullet is a factor of consequence. Making the journey you made, even though it was a good one, was risking your life on the road, where anything can happen. You are in this condition as a consequence. Whatever choice each human makes, no matter how little, progress towards life, or death."

"Life goes a lot deeper than we even know," I resigned.

"Yes. The only thing beyond choice is old age. So..."

"I'm ready to go. I was always going to anyway. As young as I am, I believe there's nothing more for me in this life. Going back will just not help matters, and it's not like I can just take my choice back..."

"No..."

"I know why you hesitated. Suicide. Not an option. I already have something good going for me here."

"Dan Nichols..." she smiled. "...you are special."

"I guess my death will warn all those around me to pay more attention to life. To enjoying it, instead of amassing huge amounts of money, no matter how philanthropic they are. Life is short, and good second chances are rare."

"Words to live by. So, wanna say something to them?" She nodded towards everyone i the waiting room outside?"

I opened my eyes and looked at the doctor. Eye to eye. No words, he understood. He'd seen it all before. He rushed to call my people.

They all trooped in, crying, begging, pleading. Some were actually calm, especially my Dad and Mum. Somehow they knew, they'd seen this, they understood.

"You've made your choice?" my father asked.

"Yes. I'm going."

The tears and wails stopped for a moment.

"When I still had a chance of survival you all cried because you knew I had a chance. You knew there was still hope..." I smiled,

"But now you have admitted you're dying, there's no hope. We have to come to terms with this fact." my brother said.

I beamed at him. Theo was always wiser than me.

"You're in pain Dan," my mother said, sobbing a little. "I...I...you." my father hugged her.

I held her hand. Mum cared about me too much to want me to suffer this. But she didn't know how to tell her own son to be quick and go on.

"Then as you do so, please don't cry. Remember to smile, because smiles..."

"... make the world go round." my parents echoed.

I was surprised.

"My mother said the same when she left. Looks lie you both met the same person when making that choice. You're in good hands." my mum said.

I squeezed her hands, knowing no words could express the love that grip transmitted.

Slowly, it all went dark.