Ok before I start , I shared in my last post about marrying an abusive partner and why you should run for your life. I said in the post that you would have seen some reg flags while in the relationship with him/her.
If you wanna check out my last post, click on the link below
The truth be told, character can never be hidden but the problem with alot of people in love is that they love with their heart and not with their head meaning they won't think about anything while in the relationship, they believe everything their partner tells them. I'm not saying you shouldn't believe or trust your partner but everything should have limit, don't be too obsessed about him/her that you don't think about your own life anymore. Do not make him/her the God of your life.
Some even sees the reg flags so clearly in their relationships yet still got married to such fellow, it is such a pity when you hear some people say he has been slapping me while we were dating but I thought he would change when we got married but he got worst and he started hitting me. No just tell me what you were expecting, tell me! That when he finally gain full custody over you, he will suddenly change for a better and starts treating like a queen? When he hasn't even gain full custody over you and he knows in his heart that you can still leave him, he still treats you like trash so you now expect him to start treating you right when he knows he owns you and you are not going anywhere?
My sister THINK!
Anytime you see an abusive fellow, you can easily recognize them cause they can't hide their behavior no matter how much they try to hide it. The truth about majority of these people is that they are damaged inside and all they need is help; therapies, counsellings, etcetera not marriage. If you check majority of their background, you will discover that something is missing, it's either that's how their parents were also behaving when they were kids and that attitude has sink into them since they were children up until they became adults and this has really damaged the good nature inside of them or they lived with someone with that attitude or something traumatising had happened to them since they were much younger that triggers violence anytime they remember it.
Are they always free to tell you things about their past and present life?
Is the way they treat other people good? (Even if he/she treats you nicely)
Is he/she the type that gets angry easily and could not always control it fast unless something gets ruined?
Is he/she the overly jealous type especially the ones that gets jealous of your success?
Does he slaps, beats, throw stuffs at you, yell at you or abuse you for every slight mistake?
Does he/she hates you having friends or family around you?
How does he/she relate with his family members; his siblings, parent and other relatives? (Very important)
Do they tell you they have no family member at all? (Make your research well if that's true or they are just lying because they are hiding something)
Have you check their past relationships to know the cause of their breakup?
Does it look like they are hiding something from you like going through their phone or entering into some particular rooms in their house?
Note: There are some other red flags in a relationship to watch out for but I only mentioned the ones I know (you can add yours in the comment section though😁). Just know which works for you, if you are in a toxic relationship, you know but you don't just want to admit it. I'm not a relationship coach at least not yet but I'm just writing all these out of experience from people I've met in life, what some friends and family are going through and so on..
In conclusion, stop believing a damaged person will change easily like that, you will sure gets damaged too before they will think of changing. Also don't be too obsessed with their nice behavior, some of them have good nature in them naturally (they were supposed to be good people) just that they are damaged probably because of their past so no matter how good they are supposed to be, they will still hurt you. Immediately you start to notice any toxic behavior, quit the relationship. Don't think they just made a mistake by hitting or slapping you. It will repeat itself again!
Quit that toxic relationship now!
Published date: 15th of April, 2022 Published time: 10 : 05 am (WAT) Author: oyinwrites