It's easy to list all the reasons why we should work with parents. The
hard part is actually doing it. So let me give you a few practical ideas
and suggestions fora ministry to and with parents. The lists that follow
are neither exhaustive nor mandatory, but hopefully you'll find a few
ideas that will inspire you to think creatively about involving parents in
your junior high ministry.
The best place to start is in the area of communication. Too
many youth workers in the church fail miserably when it comes to
communicating with parents. As a result there is a lot of miscommuni-
cation and missed opportunities for ministry. Here are a few ideas:
Publish a newsletter for parents. Give it a catchy title and fill it full of
news, articles, cartoons, youth culture trends, quotes and excerpts from
parenting books (get permission), information about upcoming events
and so on. Most word processing programs come with templates to
make composing newsletters a snap. If you can't do this yourself, ask a
parent to do it for you.
Set up a youth ministry hotline.
Dedicate a phone line at your church
or home with an answering machine that provides information about
coming events. You might inquire about installing a total church
hotline with prompts for each department of the church ("For informa-
tion about the junior high ministry, press six"). Keep it updated and use
it to let parents know all those details that their kids forget to tell them.
Invite parents to a Junior High Ministry Open House.
Most parents feel obligated to attend open house at the beginning of every school year, to meet teachers and get a feel for what their kids will be learning.
An open house for your junior high ministry could be used to introduce
parents to yourself and the other adult leaders, and give them an
overview of your goals and programs. You can let parents know what
you'll be teaching so they can reinforce it at home. You might even want
to put on a typical junior high meeting for them, allowing the parents
to pretend they are junior highers all over again.
Visit parents in their homes.
Make a habit of visiting one junior
higher's parents every week. Call ahead of time, set up an appointment,
and take that opportunity to become better acquainted. Don't use this
meeting to recruit them to anything or to ask them for money. You can
share with them anything you would like for them to know about
yourself or the junior high ministry, and you can allow them to ask
questions and express concerns they might have. Above al, listen to
them and take notes.
Use parent permission slips.
The primary purpose of permission slips
is not to get a release of liability, but to inform and to show respect. This
is one way you can let parents know that they are partners with you in
ministry. Permission slips can carry information that parents need to
know, and give parents a way of communicating with you. It's best to
mail them directly to parents and to provide a self-addressed envelope
and a deadline for their return.
Parents Need Encouragement, Too
It's easy for parents of junior highers to get discouraged. They are
having all sorts of doubts and worries, not only about their children,
but about themselves. In most cases they are desperate for a sign-any
sign-that they (or their kids) are doing the right thing. For this reason,
ir's important for us to affirm parents and to encourage them whenever
we have the opportunity. Encouragement will not only lift the spirits of
parents, but it will do wonders for the relationship that you have with
them. Here are a few ways you offer encouragement to parents of your
junior highers:
Brag on their kids. Dont be a constant
bearer of bad news. Whenever you notice
one of your junior highers doing something good, make a note of it and share that bit of good news with the parents. Too often all they hear from the adults who work with their kids is bad news-when their kids are in trouble.
Brag on them. Afirm positive parenting. If you notice, for example, that a junior higher in your group has shown exceptional kindness to another person, give the parent credit for that. Next time you see that junior higher's parents, mention to them that you've noticed how well they have taught their kids to be kind to others. It's paying off! They may think you've mistaken their son ordaughter for somebody else's kid, but down deep they will be very proud and extremely grateful to you. It will also encourage them to continue to teach their kids positive values.
Make phone calls and send notes to parents. Whether you have any
specific good news or positive parenting to brag about, it encourages
parents when you drop them a note or make a phone call just to let
them know that you are thankful for them and their son or daughter
and that you are praying for them and their family. Make it part of your
weekly routine to contact two or three parents a week. just to
encourage them.
Let them see their kids in a positive light. Sometimes parents never
get to see their kids involved in mission and service, or being a leader in
the youth group, or sharing their faith with others. Invite parents to
attend some of these activities, or allow your youths to participate
regularly in the worship services at church. Parents love it when they
can watch their kids acting in a drama, singing in a musical group, or
giving a testimony. Take slides or videos of youth group activities and
show them to parents and other adults. Put up a youth ministry
bulletin board where you can post photos and other evidence that ther
kids are doing good things.
Remember (or attend) special family events. It is a tremendous encouragement to parents when you remember their kids on their
birthdays or when you attend their ball games, music recitals, or
graduation ceremonies. Obviously this will not always be possible,
especially if you have a large group of kids, but even a card or phone call
shows a lot of thoughtfulness and helps to keep parents on your team.
