Psychologist David Elkind observed that
religion changes for the early adolescent
from being institutional to personal. It
becomes more of a personal relationship
with God. For a child religion is tied very
closely to the church or to religious activities
(institutional). But for the young adolescent
who has acquired new ways of thinking
religion is tied much more closely to a belief
system, which is more personal and private.
Teenagers, who value their privacy-now that they have discovered that they can live in secret in their heads-and who are afraid that their secrets might be found out, discover that a personal God is a most trustworthy confidant. He won't squeal. The upshot of this is that some
young adolescents become turned off by
institutional religion. They may want to stop attending church or participating in
religious activities they enjoyed as a child. This causes alarm for parents
and church leaders who fear that the youth is in danger of losing her
faith. While such fears may be justified, there is a strong chance that the
Junior higher is turning her back on the church simply as a way of
expressing her need for autonomy. In a way she is saying" Im not a kid
anymore. I don't believe in that stuff anymore. its part of the process
of breaking free from parental and religious authority and the baggage that goes along with it. Junior highers who lose their enthusiasm for
church rarely feel that way because they have examined their faith and
foùnd it wanting. They aren't rejecting God so much as they are
rejecting an old way of thinking about God. Young adolescents simply
want to be able to make their own decisions about spiritual things, so
they may temporarily hang up entirely the faith they inherited from
their parents.
This does not mean that they don't have a personal belief in
God; they just don't see a need for the institutional part of it or the
outward expression of it. In fact, research has confirmed that 95
percent of early adolescents believe in God, and that 75 percent pray
every day.' There is no need to panic. Elkind recommends patience: "In
general, most young people return to the faith of their parents once
they become young adults and particularly when they become
parents." Scripture puts it another way: "Train a child in the way he
should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:5).
I like to compare the transition that junior highers are making in
their faith with the circus acrobat on the flying trapeze. Just as the
trapeze artist lets go of one trapeze and sails through the air,
temporarily without any support, and then grabs safely onto another
trapeze-much like the one he left behind, so junior higher lets go
of his childhood faith in order to grab onto a newer, more mature,
version of it. It will look a lot like the one left behind, but this one will
be more personal, more secure. Meanwhile, like the spectators at the
circus, we gasp and hold our breath, hoping and praying that the trapeze artist-the junior higher-doesn't fall. And just as the trapeze artist "flies through the air with the greatest of ease, knowing that a safety net is in place, so our kids need to know that we are there for them.
We can be that safety net for young
adolescents who have temporarily let go of their faith by loving them and taking their need for a sabbatical from institutional religion seriously. That doesn't mean that we encourage them to stay home from church however.
I generally tell parents that its okay to force your kids to attend church. Staying home from church is not a good habit start in early adolescence. But you can force junior highers to like church or to participate in every activity.
One of the purposes of a good junior high ministry is provide for kids a place where they can be themselves and explore their
faith in new ways. Sometimes it helps to take kids away from the
church-to a home or a park or some strange location-and there
discuss spiritual things with them. This approach is less institutional
and much more personal. Young adolescents will respond positively to
an atmosphere of acceptance and friendship with opportunities to
discover Christ in a fresh, new way.
