We all have our stories and we would love to share them. We all have dreams too, I believe and we would love to share them with those who can help us to actualize them. One thing about life is, it is full of an abundance of lessons to learn. No man knows it all. You can't even live long enough to know it all and even an old man, if he is open to learning, would still have one or two things to learn from.
We've all been hurt and I am sure that we feel like giving up all together especially where love is concerned. I read about the stingy and insensitive boyfriends @Princessbusayo shared yesterday and I had flashes of those I broke their hearts and those who broke mine. The truth is if you are not breaking a heart, someone must have broken yours too but I don't think there is anyone who hasn't broken another person's heart before, directly or indirectly.
Some date you and you are not even aware of. Mentally, they are dating you and start giving you the boyfriend and the girlfriend vibes but you are not dating them. It's the world we live in, crazy right? There are those you are dating but they are completely unaware. I used to crush big time on Genevieve Nnaji (A Nigerian actress). Of course, it was just a wonderful likeness and I've never fantasized about anything with her but we have those who have fantasized about those they can never have. That's another form of dating from their own end hahaha. What can you say? If you can't get them close, stretch your imagination hahaha. Everything is possible there.
Talking of imaginations, I've played for Manchester United before, in my head with the fans chanting my name and winning a lot of trophies with personal medals too. I've ruled this nation for a month, all in my head. I've been to U.K, U.S.A and even France, all in my head. There is no crime to thinking big, yeah?
I know of how a beautiful lady friend-zoned me despite the intimacy. I actually liked her genuinely and I think she appreciated my friendship and nothing more. She didn't want me to feel bad and I started getting the message in retrospect 🤣🤣😂🤣😂. We have been so tight and been there for her through all her years of heartbreak while genuinely coaching her through it all and few times, I've pushed her to stay patient and give the guy another chance and all. This is why I always emphasize the importance of healing first else you will be a rebound. That's never a nice feeling. I wasn't a rebound because we didn't date and we have always been on talking terms, so there is nothing we can't talk about.
I visited her one day after making my intentions known to her. She asked me to allow her to process it and think about it. So, it was her birthday, I went there with cake and some goodies. She went into the kitchen to give me a nice treat and I followed too, as a good guy 😂😂😂🤣. We kissed and left what we were doing in the kitchen to continue in the sitting room. Just kisses though, nothing major. We kissed till I left 😅😅😅🤣 but I noticed there was no upgrade to my title 😅😅😂🤣. I got friend-zoned and I liked her too much to make her a friend with benefits, so I just stayed as friends with her till the next person came along 🤣🤣😂😅. We are still friends.
We've all been at the receiving ends of one hurt or the other but how we respond to it really matters. Love will still find you. Don't close the door on it because someone couldn't see your worth. I know how shattering it is for you to love someone but they don't feel the same. Would you rather want them to lie and deceive you into a relationship that won't obviously last or they should be upfront with you and tell you it has nothing to do with you?
A relationship is more than feelings. There are things you need to consider and that doesn't mean you are a bad person, it only means you are not what they are looking for and that's not a bad thing because there would be someone who is looking for just you. This is where loving yourself comes into play. There are some people you can't date too, so, does that make you a bad person for refusing their advances? Life is both ways and life dishes it out in a funny way. The person you love might not love you back and the person who loves you, you don't see that person in that light. What's the point in dating someone you are not sexually attracted to? Someone you know you would rather keep as a friend than a long term lover. There is a clear difference between knowing someone as a friend and knowing someone as a lover, trust me.
We have all been there - loved and lost, friend-zoned and hurt but that's just life. It won't always play out the way we initially want it to be but with time, it soon comes like a summer. I'm glad I went through all those because it made me a better person and I learnt how to love myself rather than waiting for others to validate their love for me.
Nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken so stop trying to fix what's not broken. You haven't just found the person and that doesn't mean you need to alter your life. Yes, learn and seek to be better in every aspect but don't lose who you are because you are trying to seek approval from those who might never still feel the same way about you. You matter too.
Thank you for your time.
You made me laugh talking about your imaginations, I love seeing people dreaming of the things people would say it is impossible.
Relationship is not hard and hard if we fail to understand what we are getting into. The friend zone thing really made me stupid but I am not this regular lover boy and my caring too much has made me offended a lot of ladies that think we are into some sort of relationship. Imagine someone you never asked out telling you that you broke her heart or someone accusing you of her misfortune in her marriage because you never paid attention to her signal.
We have all been there really but I think love been inevitable would always make us want more of what has made us sad on several occasions.