A relationship is not as simple as most people thought it was. Most people just want to 'get a man' or 'have a lady' without understanding it is more than the kissing and other emotions that come along with it. A relationship requires a lot of hard work, commitment and level head consideration. Being considerate is a huge part because it allows you to take the focus off yourself and think about the other person and it should be mutual.
Both parties need to work hand in hand to make the relationship work.
Trust is important in a relationship and non-negotiable. It is the foundation and a lot depends on it. With trust, you tend to love more, open up more and get out of your comfort zone because the human mind wants assurance and certainty. Without trust, you tend to magnify tiny details. As lovers, you need to learn to trust each other and also earn that trust too. A lot of people want their partner to trust them but they are doing questionable things without proper explanation. I know it might take a bit of extra effort to trust someone again especially when you have been lied to before now that's why lovers need to have a discussion and communicate about what gives them concerns. Honest communication helps foster that trust.
Someone once joked that the best relationship is usually between a blind wife and a deaf husband. It means the wife would have to overlook a lot of things and the husband would need to ignore a lot that is being said about the wife. It is not an excuse for behaviour that costs you your peace but to shut out unnecessary distractions.
The first thing you need in a relationship apart from love and commitment is trust. Trust is relative as it cuts across several things. Learn to trust your partner's judgement and views too, you'd be shocked by how much depth they have in certain matters. Even if it is your area of expertise, asking for input would help both of you, even if you end up not using that input. Respect her opinion even if sometimes you disagree with her. Trust him to handle things and let him know a lot depends on it.
The funny thing is trust is a broad topic and we practice it every day regardless of how indifferent we feel sometimes. Someone gave a funny illustration one time that made me laugh. He said going to the barbershop or the salon, for a lady for your hair to be done. You sometimes don't know the person before but you 'trust' the person to do what you asked him or her to do and after the first attempt and the person earned your trust, you form 'loyalty' with the person.
For a guy, this person would move the clipper up to your throat but you still feel at ease knowing the person is working in your best interest. The thought of this person mistakenly cutting you with a clipper would arise but you stay at ease knowing he or she would do a good job at what you asked him or her to do; trust.
That is how it is sometimes in a relationship. You open up to trust the person at first and then you build on it. Most people made a mess of the initial trust which makes it hard for the other person to trust again. You need to learn to trust and be trusted.
Imagine as a parent, you throw your baby up. There is this blind trust that comes from your baby due to their innocent because that child believes the parent would gladly catch him or her - trust. That is trust in its real sense, it comes even when the odds are stacked against you. What you know or think of your partner would be known when a threatening situation arises. Trusting each other would get you through some tough times. I understand that experiences are different and some people are in too deep that they can't trust again based on past experiences and that is fine. It's a process and for everyone healing process differs. The key is to have the heart to want to try again either with the same person (depending on the severity of it) or with another - starting on a clean slate.
Don’t trivialize a good relationship because you may end up appreciating it in regret. A good relationship cannot be bought off the shelf neither can it be bought off the street. It is what you have to nurture, develop and guard. A lot of men have been blessed with amazing women in their lives, yet out of insensitiveness, greed and lust, they lost them. They have a good one that is loyal to them but they would rather go in search of other ladies. This goes both ways too. One of the major problems we have as human is, we major on the minor things and then minor on the major things.
"When a lady is a major thing in a man’s life but he fails or refuses to realize it, he is trivializing that special gift, and what you don’t appreciate won’t gravitate towards you."
Naturally, any human would gravitate towards where they are appreciated rather than where they are tolerated. As a partner, you need to know who and what is important to you and let go of those things that are not. It is not a must to date everyone; you can do well to keep some as friends. Greed and lust often lead most people to confuse lust for love and they lose loyal and trustworthy partners as a result of these traits.
Sometjmes relationship becomes so harsh that tore the soul into pieces