I love talking about relationship because I love being practical. I like the ability to be able to balance our emotions with a clear head too. It takes a lot of strength to know when to use your heart and when to use your head. Both are needed in a relationship because you need to be able to think with a clear head as you should be valued just as must as you are giving value too.
The truth is you can't give what you don't have. Most people find it hard to love others and in part, it might be because they don't love themselves enough or they haven't healed from past hurts, so they are guarding their heart and protecting their space. It's harder to love other people when you don't even love yourself or you haven't healed from past hurts. When we love ourselves enough, only then can we give our best and attract the love we think we deserved.
It is perfectly okay for us to crave love and attention. We all feel on top of the world when we are loved and we could feel it, but the truth is not everyone would love or like you, no matter how much you try and this is the place for self-love, where you are not affected by the inability of another person to accept or love you for who you are. You need to have the courage to let things you can’t control go.
As expected, because we are all humans, even the strongest of us, some people crumble when they are not loved. They lash out and cage themselves in. They lose their sense of worth and feel they are not good enough. A lot of things can be responsible for this especially when you both have different value systems, there is no mutual ground in term of attitudes, hobbies and so on.
You can create a good impression, but it doesn't necessarily translate into likeness. Don’t live your life trying to impress another person, whom you might still never win over in the long run. The issue is, most of the times we focus on the short term rather than on the long run. Many people are already seeking an exit route before they have even gone far in a relationship.
Most of the times when we feel rejected or unloved, we seem to withdraw from other people’s loving hands because we feel inadequate, we feel we are unloved and have a lot of questions popping up in our head. We fail to see those who care about us and base our feelings on just one person's opinion based on how we were treated. We feel the need to change what is not broken. We are not perfect, yes, but you are not as broken as you feel you are.
Don’t judge your life based on the unacceptability of another imperfect human being. Feel good about yourself because every good thing starts from the inside.
Don't sell yourself short because you are looking for acceptance, rather be who you are and seek to evolve. Not everyone would like or love you so stop living your life trying to impress others.
When someone leaves, it is always a personal decision and you have to learn to accept things you cannot control. Don't fight it. You can’t control how people feel about you or what they think about you. Stop seeking approval and love yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for it and don’t hate them also for it. Everyone would always want to do what’s best for them. Do what’s best for you, by feeling good about who you are.
"Love is such a beautiful thing that no one can ever deny no matter how it is conceived."
Open up your heart to love, to feel and learn to love yourself first above anything else. Let go of past hurts. Forgive yourself for loving the 'wrong' person before now. We live and learn as we grow and go through this fleeting life. Don't allow life to pass you by. Yes, love is worth waiting for so don't force it. Love is still the cure for a broken heart. Take your time and heal first.
Upbringing also matters. When I see so many students here in school going into one relationship or the other I realised much emphasis isn't placed on love. They get heartbroken easily because the relationship was one sided. They feel they are caged at home and see life in school as an opportunity to feel loved. Hence falling into the wrong ends. At the end of the day after numerous heartbreaks they no longer believe love exist