Parenting.

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I have read a lot of posts regarding parenting and I have read quite a lot of views on it too and I would like to speak on this as well.

Most people need to understand that parenting goes beyond the ability to just have a baby. There are so many things involved that if care is not taken, we would be causing more dangers for our world.

My friend, @George_Dee said something and there is so much sense in what he shared. He spoke about how most people don't even factor their economic status into it before raising children. I think it is also wrong to keep producing children without the means to cater for them. As a parent, you are causing more trouble to society especially when you still fail to teach them morals, asked them to fend for themselves and you didn't give them the basic education that is expected of every child.

Children are blessings, no doubt and in my language, they used to share a proverb which I have to disagree with. They would say "What a child would feed on, the child would come with it into the earth." How? No child is coming with any means of sustenance because the child is the sole responsibility of the parents and how you train and raise them would in a way determine how they would turn out. We have more children roaming the streets trying to fend for themselves because their parents lacked the capacity.

This is not to blame the parents for lacking the capacity because I understand that life happens, but we need to learn how to raise children that we can at least cater for that won't be too much of a burden for us. Having multiple children is not a competition and most people need to stop treating it as one. I know the basic thinking of most African parents is to give birth to as many as possible so no one would 'mock' them. We need to stop thinking in this way and hold our values true - leaving better children for our world and not allowing them to repeat the mistakes that we made.

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Parenting is the ability to raise godly children or nurture children of worth and value. It is about being intentional and leading a life worthy of emulation. You can't lead a different life and expect your child to model it. You need to be able to point them in the right direction in words and deeds.

Most of the issue we have in this world is as a result of bad parenting and it is sad. Being a parent means you will be ever-present in the life of your child to guide and guard them in the way of truth. I understand not everyone wants to be a parent and that is fine but the moment you have decided to become a parent you need to rise to the occasion. You made love to a lady and she got pregnant and you called the baby a mistake. How is the baby a mistake? You made love without protection, what were you expecting, a plasma TV?

As a parent, presence and purpose go together. It is because of that purpose that we need the presence. You need to be an ever-present figure in the life of your child. Don't act like an Ostrich. Do we know how Ostriches treat their younger ones? We need to read about it.

As a parent, you need to know your children. Be sensitive to the changes in their moods and actions. Let them trust you and be free enough to tell you just about anything while you reciprocate it with honesty and talking to them as though they understand. If you won't be available to train your child, there is no crime if you decide against having one. They need attention and care.

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You are the one to model the life you want them to live. We have so many negative influences around in the world, starting from the internet to their schools and all that but model a lifestyle for them so they at least know the truth. Let them see you live the things you are telling them - lead by example. Your words and actions must match because if it doesn't they will know. We have smarter kids in this generation. You cannot tell them not to steal or lie if that's what they always see you do. The moment you nurture them with a negative mindset it will soon become their nature. Be conscious about the things you say and do.

You have to be able to strike a balance of loving them and discipline them. When you rebuke them for something you have to explain to them why you did it so they will understand that it came from a place of love and not because you despise them or you want to intentionally punish them.

Parenting is not about Biology. You need to understand the different stages in the life of your child or children. Relate with them as though you are friends. It doesn't mean they will disrespect you but they would be more open to tell you things. You need to balance your emotions well so you won't push them away when they tell you anything serious because the moment they tell you something and you overreact, that's the end of them opening up to you. Each child needs a different level of relation. The things you will tell a child of 10 years old and the way you would engage that child would be different from a child of 18 years of age. Be sensitive to their needs and moods.

Lastly, you need God. I know we all have a different understanding of this and I won't impose but as a parent, the Bible is a perfect guide for us on how to live and train our children, so we need to set them on the path of the Lord so even when we are not with them, with the access they have to the Word of God and its understanding of it, they can always continue in it.

Thank you for your time.