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All In Your Head.
Image Source. https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-punching-gray-wall-3754243/ I've always maintained that we are a product of how we were raised and the environment we found ourselves. I understand that it shouldn't be the reason why we turn out a certain way because we are responsible for our choices, but there are some choices we can never change. We might change it afterwards but immediately, we can't and they formed a bit of who we are and how we turn out. We can never choose our family members. We have friends who turned family, yes, but you don't get to select who your siblings are as you would handpick who you want your friends to be. You can't determine the kind of upbringing you have. This is a choice sometimes your parent would have to make and even where to live - the environment you grew up in. Left to me, why wouldn't I want to live in a rich neighbourhood? I am sure more people would love to have that kind of life too especially when you've lived your life trying to make ends meet. There are a lot of things beyond our control that we might never change again and there are some that we can change afterwards. The things we see around us affect us directly or indirectly, whether we like it or not. It gives us a preconceived notion of what we assume. A lot of the problems we have or the issues we think we are going through are all in our heads. We have seen the pattern somewhere or we have seen how it turned out for someone and we naturally assumed it's going to take the same shape with us forgetting that we don't know if the result that person got was as a result of ignorance or inactions. We assume a lot because we think we want to prepare our minds or console ourselves. We want a soft landing so we wouldn't have to feel bad for ourselves. I am not saying there are no real problems, of course, there are but I am saying that there are issues people are going through that is only playing on in their heads. They invented the problem when they should have been focused on being better, they start feeling bad for themselves which leads them to inaction or worse still, lead them to take desperate steps that would end their lives. We sometimes feel life is so hard and we can never find a way out of the rat race because our siblings are still struggling and our parents suffered. I have heard people say they won't bother themselves about being successful because success is unattainable to them. It's shocking to hear people think this way but please, I won't blame them. The kind of people you surround yourself with, matters.
Image Source. https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-wearing-fanny-pack-3062614/ Have you ever been around insecure people? They feel every voice that whispers are gossiping about them and maybe those girls whispering were actually talking about a cute boy they can spot afar off and wondering how to summon up the courage to go. Maybe they were whispering because they didn't want another person to hear them look 'desperate' in getting the attention of the guy and here is someone who thinks they were gossiping about him or her because of the sandal that looks funny or the shift in the frame of her glasses. We start gathering enemies even when they didn't even notice us in the first place. Calm down and hold on...not everything is about you. You are successful, you gained amazing support from people but whenever you take a walk, you feel everyone is out to get you and bring down your success. They are not out to get you. Maybe they want to get close to see how you made it and maybe when you listen to the idea from them you can build up on your already attained success too. Some keep hearing voices that they are not good enough or might never be. It has limited them and they quit even before they try anything. Success becomes alien to them and taking risks is far from them and this keeps them grounded and think there is a spiritual battle against them but no, it's all in their heads because they haven't even tried yet they are dreading they'd fail. Stop thinking of the easy way out because it's all in your head. I have heard of guys who think a lady isn't dating them because they are broke. Of course, we have ladies that would never date a guy because he is 'broke' compared to her but there are those who invent the reason why a lady turned them down was because they have no money by the virtue of the things they have seen around them. Maybe she did not want to date you because of the insensitive words you used and you are too blind to see how she shuddered when you said it. We want someone who can be sensitive to our every mood and also someone who can hold a meaningful conversation. Not every lady want your money, some genuinely want to connect with you so they can spur you on to greater heights. A closed chapter is not the end of a book because you have other chapters to read and also write. Stop inventing problems before they come. You want to guard your heart, yes, but you need to focus on the problem to be able to tackle it not an invented problem that you must have gotten all wrong. We all have things we are dealing with that happened to all come from our heads and it's not even a reality, not even close. *Thank you for your time.*
29 comments
I can now understand better that , many of rich men do run away from people. Sometimes, many do run from going to to pay their friends visit. You have said the fact. People do get close to you not to hurt you or to take you down but to get close to you. Why them should we be afraid ?
We need to do better so we won't invent problems.
If you get to see what other people go through because of the environment where they ce from or how they were raised, you will appreciate where you are coming from.
Exactly. Absolutely.
People are just too quick to judge and conclude their own problems because of what they have seen or heard wrongly. We need to focus on how to solve our problems instead of feeling sad or moody for what is not. It is our choice to see a problem in the right or wrong way. What A might be thinking is different from B and you just can't conclude things while being afar.
Yes, dear. We need to focus on fixing an actual problem rather that start dealing with the ones we invented in our heads.
I have met someone who had this issue before, he said whenever he is doing something he always feels like people won't like it and other negative thoughts. I made him understand that he allowed those thoughts in his head because there was definitely no one against you and even if there was one, it doesn't stop you from doing what's right or been yourself. I think sometimes people create problems that would have never come their way and trying to work or play along with what's in their head, they end up making terrible mistakes.
God bless you my brother. Exactly...they make up problems that might never pop up and they fail to understand that it would limit them from opportunities and breakthroughs.
Every new day is a new chapter in our lives What we want to write on the page depends on our parents when we are little but when you are grown already it's all depends on us To be I believe no matter the bad upbringing someone can still change if they want to
Yes, my dear. A lot depends on us, no doubt.
Yeah it is
Those that you mentioned here are happening all around us and we do some of them too. Precisely the reason why most motivational gurus talk about changing the mindset first before trying to change anything else. And yes, some things can never be changed but that doesn't mean we will make use of them as reasons to not make our lives or our thoughts better. I love this wake up call of yours Ola :)
Absolutely. If anything would change, we need to change our mindset and how we see things. I am glad you enjoyed this, my friend. 🤗🤗🤗. Thank you.
Yes, that's true. And it's the most difficult challenge we face when it comes to change. Yes, I did, thank you :)
Thanks a lot for sharing this, my friend.
Thinking about I am not good enough or someone might pull me down once I step out. That's a lack of self-esteem which I have.. Lol.. Our mind is really uncontrollable to think negative stuff...making questions with no definite answers. And just making things complicated when we can just simply let them be..
Sweetly said, Janey. Absolutely, we need to do better and not complicate our lives
Indeed everything's in our head. The way we think is the way we saw the world. Let's change our mindset first before doing something important think first if it's okay or not. The problem we might seeing is not actually a problem but just a Thougts in our mind needed to eradicate think carefully. Also think positive and you'll receive happiness and contentment in life
Spot on...thanks for this lovely contribution.
This is where "what you think is what you are" comes in. If you always think failure, then you will be a failure. But if you think success, own it and it will be yours. 👍🧡
That's so accurate, my friend. We are a reflection of our predominant thoughts.
Great words sir Our determination determines our success in life. Yeah Success isn’t an easy route even to the rich ones I am sure most had to struggle to attain where they are today Though some are inherited but without hardworking the inheritance might just disappear into the thin air. We have seen many rich went poor and many poor become rich Such is life.
Oh well...that's life...no doubt.
Yes sir. God bless you
Amen and you too.
Assuming the other people are talking and gossiping about you when in fact they don't even care about you. That hits home. I know a lot of people who thinks everything is about them. Too bad.
Very true, my friend. Too bad. Not everything is about us.
I had those thoughts that shoot me back often thinking that I am inferior or people are talking about me. Thankfully I gained confidence for the things that I can do and focused on things that are important.
I am glad to hear this. Very well...focus is important. Glad you got over that. Good one.