It took me a very long time before I could realize that most people are selfish and they would make you feel bad just because of their selfish ways. No offence, I have done such to people too, so that's just human nature but we can do better. I have said it many times that you need to prioritize yourself and you owe no one an apology. This is your life and you have to treat yourself better. As harsh as it might sound, learn to value yourself because if you drop the ball, others would pick it right up and best you to dragging yourself if you don't value yourself enough. It is not pride but self-worth.
Pride is thinking of yourself more than you ought to while low self-esteem is thinking yourself lesser than you ought to while humility is not thinking yourself lesser than you ought to. They are all different and knowing this would help you to know those who need to stay in your life and those who need to take the exit door. Whether we like it or not, our association matters in life.
As humans, we have all been guilty of this at some point and that is, we have this burning desire to be accepted by others so we would do anything, just about anything to please them even when it makes us uncomfortable. We are causing ourselves more harm than good by compromising our standards. We are more interested in what others think of us forgetting that they would talk either way - when you please them and when you didn't.
"If you want to travel fast, you need to travel light" - Unknown. This is the truth because the people you allow in your life will either slow you down or help you to your desired goal. It all boils down to our choices. Do what's best for you and that includes whatever gives you a clear conscience to sleep better at night. Stop riding on others at the detriment of your own conscience.
The first step to accepting yourself is to know your place in people's lives. Someone said something years ago and as funny as it sounds, it is the truth; "Don't carry anyone like a bag of rice when they only hold you like a pinch of salt" - Unknown. This one makes me laugh every time I think of it and that is "Treat me like a joke and I will leave you like it's funny" - Anonymous.
Stop making apologies for those people you have cut off from your life. You are not judging them but you are checking your value system. If someone is not adding anything meaningful to your life and all they cause you is pain and hardship, I feel this should be an easy decision until they have been able to mature to treat you better. Stop keeping just anyone around. Get people out of your life or in it by checking the value they bring into your life.
A preacher once said and I quote: "Maybe we meet some few bad people in life so that when we meet the good ones we can appreciate them" so when someone adds nothing but more pain into your life, cut them off. Life is hard enough, isn't it? Don't let someone make it even worse.
What value are you also adding to the lives of those around you? In as much as you are holding yourself to high standards by your willingness to cut people off, what value are you adding to their lives as well? We sometimes attract what we are and we accept the love we sometimes think we deserve. Do you think your organization would keep paying you a salary while you bring nothing to the table? They would gladly and willingly allow you to go because they are using the value system to determine what's best for their business. If anyone makes you feel worse than they met you, say goodbye to them.
This life is very simple, so if you are not helping someone, you are causing more misery to someone. I want to go to where I am celebrated rather than where I am tolerated. Everyone is doing what's best for themselves so why won't you do the same?
There are people I've had to let go and I am not sorry. I am watching out for myself too because if the table turned, they would do the same without batting an eyelid. Cutting them off doesn't mean we are at loggerheads, far from it but when you meet amazing people, you just know that you need to think of yourself more and that's why I am grateful for the gift of Monika. She is an awesome being. I am not tagging her 😂😂😂🤣😂 so she won't say I am tagging her too much (it's our little banter).
Be around people who would let you be yourself and also help you to become better while still holding on to your true nature. Stop holding on to those whose relevance has 'expired'. Not everyone in your life is for the long haul, some are just for a season. We are all flawed and imperfect but only you can weigh both sides to determine those you would give the free pass in your life. Remember, your choice determines a lot as to how far you'd go in life.
I etched you on the pages of my heart
I feel we have so much to share on earth
I am excited to see us cross paths
Because my heart beats tumultuously
To the rhythm of your heart
How right it is that
What comes from the heart touches the heart
Thank you for being the rainbow after the rain
The hope that I seek after a turbulent period
As you are to me, I promise to be even more to you
Thank you for your time.
Maybe that's why I only have few real friends. The many ones I used to have filtered in time. That's life and that's why sometimes it's better to be happy in private because people love to ruin things.