From reaching our full potentials to achieving our goals to starting a progress to attaining success to accomplishing achievements. Either these are big or small, takes a moment or almost forever, and a one small step or a big leap in our life.

Sometimes, we are almost there and just few steps closer to these things but there's holding us back—ourselves and our traits.

In my life, there are moments that there's a colossal walls standing in front of me, blocking my way and journey; and there's a monster that pulls me back, abducts me, or messes my sense of direction so I can't move forward in my journey.

But, these walls and monsters are my creations. I can say they are me. Sometimes, I am my own enemy.

(Photo courtesy of Will Porada via Unsplash.)

I already said in 'Difficult Person Test': How Difficult Am I to Deal With? , my article about the Difficult Person Test and the results, that I enjoy taking personality tests to know discover more about myself and assess myself. By doing this, I can determine my characters and traits that need changes and improvements.

Another personality test I took few weeks ago is Holding Yourself Back Test. This test is about the seven elements or factors that hold people back or one's traits and characteristics that stand in their way of their own success.

This topic has been in my 'to-write list ' for a while. Finally, I have the energy and will to come back again here after being occupied by school stuff and personal matters and write about this topic.

I will share the results of the said personality test and the explanations from the site about the factors. Also, I'm going to tell my experiences in my life and in this platform related to the factors that hold me back.

Things will get messy and revealing here.

Getting Stressed

Getting stressed is the highest among seven factors. It's true that I have poor stress management and coping skills. And I easily often get stressed, even in the most simple things.

The lines in my forehead at this age is one of the evident signs of this traits. Because of 'getting stressed ', I always get angry and irritated. I also lose focus most of the time. Because I'm always get stressed, I always cope with unproductive ways and sometimes harmful such as binge watching anime or shows, surfing in the internet amd social medias, stress eating (sometimes), and getting addicted with coffee/caffeine which are wasting my valuable time that I can use for something more important.

My academics and daily life are not just affected from getting stressed but also my journey in this platform. I haven't reached my goal here yet because I always hold myself back. Instead of writing articles, I'm watching anime ,browsing in the internet,or partially reading my books to cope with stress and avoid getting stressed. I'm a type of person who needs in a perfect consition to do something like writing, so when I'm stressed, I can't and don't want to write.

I wasted my time and opportunities because of stress that leads to procrastination and laziness.

I can't dodge, I'm really guilty about this. I am high in this factor, same percentage with getting distracted and perfectionism.

I always think that I'm not good at something, so sometimes when opportunities and interests knock, they are not welcome. When I know, I don't have a chance on something, I won't go with it. So I have a loads of 'what ifs' in my life because I didn't try things because I criticized myself before doing it. I also have insecurities mostly about talents and skills because I criticized myself that I'm not good enough.

The good thing is self criticisms and self doubt are my motivation so I can do better and improve. Also, because of this trait, I avoid big disappointments and frustrations by thinking negative about results. I always do this about my contests in or outside the school and admision exams, that's why I don't usually get disappointed about negative results.

In this platform, I also criticized myself that I'm not good enough when I read amazing works from great writers. But they still inspire me.

I was not pressured and molded to perfect especially in school while growing up so I the origin of this trait on me is a mystery. And perfectionism is so high.

I'm type of person who really plan things in my life and whole life. As perfectionist, I really want these go as what they should be. So when things, don't go with the plan I am really disappointed.

I don't want others to view as perfect or close to it, but I want me to be perfect on things I can control and my works. Also, I have a weird habit, which I think still roots to perfectionism. This is starting to do something in the start of the year(Jan. 1),start of month(first day), start of the week(Monday for me), and when time is on sharp (such as 3:00,5:00). For example I planned to be healthy so I want to jog everyday, I will wait for either monday or start of the month or write an article at exactly 8:00 AM. Yeah, it's weird.

I admit that I'm perfectionism about my works here so I write too slow. And I'm aware that sometimes what's perfect to me is still bad. I always get frustrated when I can't perfectly express my ideas and what's in my mind and when I don't reach my level of perfection.

Guess who's writing a paragraph of the article because became a little bored and then will go to the social media app? Of course me, I'm always distracted that's why this factor is high.

It's true that I lose attention and interest on something when I don't feel excited anymore. And I am inconsistent with my long-term plans. One example is my plan of saving and investing, and I'm always distracted by temptations and 'gonna-treat-myself' personality because I find temporary or long term excitement from buying or what I will buy.

I always get distracted writing and reaching my goal here especially after self criticisms and getting stressed after being comsumed by my books and anime.

The trait 'no enthusiasm ' is still pretty high or maybe in between.

Honestly, when I lose enthusiasm at something I will take a break and when my enthusiasm comes back, I will do the same. But it doesn't mean that I don't love what I'm doing anymore. We just need to rekindle the excitement and take a break.

In here, one reasons I'm always inactive is this reason. There are moments were I lose interest in here, writing and even earning.

This trait is low because I don't often fantasizing. I am always 'tulala' and zoning out but I'm thinking deeply about my life and decisions not being in a complex fantasy. I think, I'm imaginative but I know the best time to be like this.

I like taking risks but I dont have risky behavior that's why this element is so low. I'm careful with my actions and even words.

Over all, I am significantly holding myself back with a 64.29%. I'm aware that I'm always hold myself back but I didn't really know in what way. So with this test, I'm glad to learn about my traits that hurdles my succes and I will try to fix and minimize them.

Now that I learned about my traits that holds me back, I'm gonna SHAKE THEM OFF, and they will let go.

"Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off"

You can try the test too! It's good for self assessment and educational purposes. And keep in mind the test is not 100% accurate and can't be used as diagnosis for something.

Besides, the test is free,based on a university research and made by professionals.

All you gonna do is rate the 35 questions, like the one below, how they applies to you. It will just take minutes so this is not a waste of time.

Here's the link if you want to try it and share you results too.

https://www.idrlabs.com/holding-yourself-back/test.php

Sources

Photos are screenshots from the website, I don't own the explanations. No copyright infringement intended.

Also, the finishing lines in the article is from the song Shake it Off by Taylor Swift.

Thank you for reading!Aside from some traits stated above, I'm also busy about college admission,graduation and personal matters so I'm inactive here.