You told me to hold on while you were letting go

i thought we were stronger together

it turned out it was only my strength, holding us in place.

Letting go after holding on so tightly, showed me that I am capable of far better things. Than loving someone who only loved the idea of me.

But I deserve more

i deserve more of your attention than your phone does

i deserve quality time not just time

i deserve effort, not just routines

I deserve to be treated as a priority, not as the last thing on your checklist

i deserve to be your only option.

I wanted more love and attention

I wanted more touch and ecstasy

I wanted more romance and sweet talks

i wanted more hugs and nice kisses.

Instead

you emptied my love and gave me pain in return

you tortured my heart, filling it with deceits

you crushed me empty and caused me wild pain

i asked you to love me until the sun burns out, but you left me during my darkest hour.

I asked you to hold me tight forever, but you left me without no clue.

I asked you to help me grow, but you made me fall down to the pit

i begged you to love me forever, but you left me with no words.

I asked you to be my companion but you left me like I didn’t mean anything.

I remember the pain I felt in watching our love fade from fire to ash,

I remember how you hurt me with your words, how you made me feel inferior

I remember how you crippled my love and body shamed every single time

how you talked behind my back, and smiled when we spend time together

I remember how you gave me agony and trapped me within.

i told myself

i told myself it was love, that eagerness you had to possess me.,

I told myself it was love because there were so many parts of me you wanted to touch.

I should have known better when I felt your cold hands come up against my burning heart, that you only wanted to touch me

You never wanted to hold me, and you definitely never knew how to love me

your hands know no mercy

Your eyes, sees no truth

your tongue that twists a beautiful lie

And hearts that hold grieve and deceits

your soul is shaped like a knife, wicked and full of evil..

there are so many words that burns hot in my mouth, but I will hold my tongue and spare the world the grief of our love.

Your name burnt a hole in the roof of my mouth, right through the tip of my tongue

Now I’m stuttering through blackened and broken teeth, gasping for a truth I know will deafen me

I feel broken and empty now

My heart is heavy and my soul burning

i Loved you with all my breathe, and cared for you like you’re my second soul.

Now I am afraid.

I am simply afraid

Afraid of investing more of myself to more heartaches in return

I’m afraid of falling into the wrong arms again

I’m afraid of being disappointed by short-lived promises once again

I’m afraid of creating memories I will fight to bury once again

I’m afraid of changing strangers to lovers only for you to change into stranger again

I’m afraid of kissing lips that will say”goodbye” once again.

I am simply afraid of finding myself back on the frontline for disappointment.

So I’m letting you go forever

But you should know I loved you

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