(The dead still live) __

the days are dark, our hearts are ablaze, our body weary weak. Our eyes the color of red, heavy and full of grieve. It’s hurting that our eyes will never meet. The dead are always looking down at us even though we can’t see them.
they say while we are busy, there are looking down at us through the windows of heaven. they watch the tops of our heads moving below the earth., there smile up there and wished to hug us really tight .

we will never see again but our feelings still lives on. Our memories still reawakens even though It’s not enough. Our memories gives us hope and smiles again. When we call their names they smile up there wishing there could call us back, and even though they call our names, we will never hear. The dead miss us so much in the same way we miss them too.
they are not dead, there just live in another world that we can’t see but exists

I’ve always heard the word”dead”, I knew people die, but I never understood it yet fully. I never knew the pain that comes with loosing someone close, I had never felt the anger of loosing someone dear.
When there die we would never meet again?, our eyes will never see?, we would never talk?, we will never share the same food, and chat for hours?. These were my thoughts.I never knew all these things, I only watched in movies and heard from afar.

the day I got the news of my grandpa’s death was the worst day of my life. It was the most shocking news I didn’t want my ears to hear. I couldn’t cry, I didn’t rant, I did not question God, that day I was so calm, quiet and I slept through out the night peacefully. But the next morning when I woke up, I quickly called his line and he didn’t pick up, then I cried, I understood what dead was, I knew we would never speak again, and our eyes will never meet.

I felt so sad, I cried all along. What pained me most; I promised to call him and send recharge card but I never did cause I kept procrastinating till he passed away.
My grandpa was my second dad. He left me without saying a final goodbye. I miss his baritone voice, I miss the times we drank palm wine together, I miss the times I visited the village and we’ll all walk together for morning mass. oh!!, I miss the times he gives all his grandchildren money during boxing day(26th December). I miss the times we ate digestive biscuits while coming back from church, I miss the times I ran to him when afraid of the masquerade during festive periods. I really miss when he sang his catholic hymns by 12:am and his song wakes us all in our perspective rooms.I miss to see him play with his cats., I miss the time I baked buns for him., I miss the times we all slept in the farm, and I miss when we ate bananas together. My grandpa was full of life, whenever my dad ask us to visit the village, I never complain cause I knew my grandpa will treat us well.

on his burial day

on his burial day.

On his burial day, i couldn’t recognize him, his body was cold, his eyes were closed, he was dark and calm, he didn’t have that loving smile he had whenever he sees me, he didn’t talk with his baritone voice, he didn’t see me. My grandpa didn’t call my name, we didn’t hug. I cried out cause he didn’t look like the grandpa I knew, his lips was siege, I couldn’t hear him laugh with his barriton voice. Then I knew what dead actually meant.

I watched my siblings cry, and my dad cried like a child, for the first time I saw my father shed tears, he felt the pain of loosing his beloved father. My grandma was so quite and in shock, she just kept nodding her head while singing a calm catholic hymn. I ran to her and tried to wipe her tears then in turn she told me “don’t cry grandpa has gone to rest, he said you should study hard”. When I heard this I bursted into tears, i was filled with grieve. I Watch them take my grandpa to the grave, watched them put my grandpa 6ft deep, I saw them dropping sand to the coffin, then I knew he had gone forever. The whole crowd bursted in tears. My uncles and aunties felt like entering the ground.

I lost my friend

Last year, I lost my friend, the news was shocking, the news was painful, she’s dead?, why?. I couldn’t process anything I didn’t want to believe, not until I saw posts and pictures around the net. Then I knew it was true. I cried bitterly. she was so true, kind and talks sweetly, she could tease me whenever we met and I would laugh out loud, whenever we met in school I we would Chat for long and give a goodbye hug.
so how can she die?, my friend gone? I was thinking afar with my eyes red like blood.
I saw her dead body in a picture, she was lifeless, she had her favourite sweater on

The last time I saw her face was around the market, I was in a taxi heading to buy foodstuffs.
when I got the news of her death, I couldn’t process it, my eyes were soaked with tears, my chin was red, i watched her pictures for as long as my eye could carry. I felt so sad, I cried all night long, I wished she could tease me like before.

Then I knew what dead was, she was gone, and our eyes will never meet.. During her candle nights i cried, I watched her pictures on the projector and heard friend talk about her beautiful and nice she was, i heard words of sweet talks, she was good, always ready to cheer others up. I saw people cry, I felt their pain. We lit candles and let it go away. I know she stills lives and watch us all.

Death is cruel, it really scary, painful and unbearable. it takes our loves one far away, we are only left with the memories we share. There leave us without saying any word, there don’t even say a final goodbye. There don’t even give final hugs.

Here I am thinking of my lost ones, I am wondering how they cope in the other life. Do there eat?, do there bathe?, do there change clothes?, my head is full with many thoughts exploring beyond.

Dead just take our loved ones away from us without giving highlight and information. I wish we never die but live till forever together. But I know there aren’t dead, there only live in a place we can’t see them but exits.

RIP TO ALL THE ONES WE LOVE AND CHERISH. RIP TO ALL OUR HEREOS . RIP TO ALL WE LOST DURING CORONAVIRUS

This is me sharing my thoughts and sad feeling,

have you lost someone close?