After love, for lovers to be happy, there must be mutual trust and reciprocity.
Competition in marriage.
Competition is something healthy and useful, it is what sometimes keeps our interest alive in the daily struggle. From childhood we are taught to compete: at school, in sports, at work and in the business world. We live in a world where competition is almost demanded of us, to such an extent that we not only want to be like our neighbor, but we want to be more than him.
How does the dictionary define the word competition? Well, among other things, like a contest between two or more who aspire to the same thing. Yes, that conflict in daily life is what makes us prominent, but that type of competition that is born from the interest to stand out above the spouse does not fit in marriage.
Wasn't it their popularity that attracted you?
If both are handsome, friendly, attractive, it is natural that they have been attracted to each other. We always tend to choose the one with whom we get along.
If their characters are alike, they both stand out in a group and are popular, they have already started from a good base to start relationships that will culminate in the marriage of both. However, someone said, not without reason, that "the most difficult thing about marriage is that we fall in love with the personality, but then we have to live with the person."
Among attractive and popular people who like to be the center of attraction or the life of the party, "as we say, there is a danger of falling into narcissism.
Narcissus was a character from Greek mythology, who, seeing his image reflected in the water of a pond, fell so in love with him that he forever rejected another affection and languished with love for himself.
Is this your case? Is this the problem with your marriage? Are they perhaps both narcissists? Are you both immature and spoiled? Then they are probably unsure of themselves, even if it seems the opposite.
The dilemma of those who continually seek the attention of others is that they run the risk of taking what they will say very seriously, they are anxiously worried about being judged for what they have or what they look like and not for what they really are, they need. continually approve of those around you, be heard and be liked by your observers.
And if in your marriage you both compete for the attention of the group, it means that you both have a superlative self. They are not capable of going unnoticed, they have plenty of showmanship. However, examining them carefully we understand that all this exhibitionism is nothing more than an insecurity that they need to satisfy at all costs, seeking additional attention.
When it comes to getting married, being nice, successful or popular can help us, but it is not enough; it is also necessary to have the good sense to avoid excesses.
Examine Yourself: Is Excessive Popularity Affecting Your Marriage? Why do you need the continued approval of others?
Personal life must be brought to the fore, which is the most important thing, and social life, which is always secondary, must be taken to the background.
Marriage is not a competition.
It is rightly said that "marriage is our last chance to mature and grow, in every sense of the word.
Social competition to attract the attention of others can hurt your marriage. It provokes jealousy, there is no jealousy without affection, but remember: jealousy is born from doubt and misunderstanding, it brings disgust, fights and fuels envy.
Nothing is done well if we do it with the intention of competing. Nothing is noble if it is done out of pride to stand out or outshine another, much less your own spouse!
Although it has been said that both in business and in love the winner can afford to be indulgent with his 'rival', if you know that this rivalry with your spouse can cause you displeasure, and that feeding your own pride It may bring about the end of your marriage.
Understand that it is the very immaturity and inexperience that you suffer that leads you to give yourself that false air of importance. Make amends and grow! Understand that you don't always have to be the center of attraction, that if we were to be silent for a while, we would all hear each other a little more and learn a lot. Above all, we would enrich our capacity for understanding and modesty, and we would transform our ignorance into knowledge by accepting the seed of the opinion of others and offering our ears to others.
How many of us 'force goes out of our mouths'? If we kept quiet more often? If we were more silent, we would achieve peace in our lives and in our marriages.
To those who like popularity.
For those who enjoy great popularity within your group, it is good that it is so, but cultivate it in some moderation. Try to compromise with your spouses if you know that those who are also popular in the same environment are bothered by the excesses of the group, it is good that they compete, act wisely.
They must realize that competing for the attention of others is too superficial. The main thing is that both have a life in common ahead of them, so the marriage relationship should be based on love, mutual trust and reciprocity.
They are both married so they are no longer children. And if they are so grown up, it is better for them to act like the adult beings that they are, sacrificing a little of their person, in order to enrich the marriage.
Remember: Marriage is the effort of two toward a goal that both of you aspire to. Therefore, in that career that is marriage, do not lose sight of that goal and do not allow the obstacles of rivalry and competition to be crossed on your way.
Let us remember that nothing is noble when we do it exclusively out of pride. If we are intelligent we will know very well that we should not compete with our partner.
Marriage is our last chance to mature and grow.💘💘
When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.
"Soon you'll realize that many people will love the idea of you but will lack the maturity to handle the reality of you."