The Difference between Entitlement and Narcissism

Entitlement is the feeling that one deserves something, usually without any sense of obligation.

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and delusions of grandeur.

In other words, entitlement means believing you deserve something because it's your right to have it. Narcissism means thinking you're better than others and even if they don't think so, you do.

Entitlement can be healthy; narcissism never is. But there are times when we all feel entitled to certain things in life, such as love, money, or success, but only after we've put in the hard work needed to achieve them.

This article will show how these two concepts are often confused with each other and why this misunderstanding is harmful to relationships.

First, we must understand the difference between narcissism and healthy self-esteem.

When you have a good sense of who you are, you know your strengths and weaknesses. You know what people think of you, but are secure enough in yourself not to let their opinion be the final word on your value.

When things don't go as planned, rather than saying "It's my fault," you take responsibility for your actions by saying "I did something wrong." While being overly critical of ourselves is unhealthy, having too high an opinion of ourselves is just as bad, especially when it comes at someone else's expense.

Narcissists act entitled thinking that they're more important than everyone else, believing themselves to be special or superior.

Moreover, narcissists feel the need for admiration and praise from others. They crave it so much that they often gravitate toward professions or social roles where they can get a lot of attention such as movie stars and professional athletes because being admired gives them a sense of power.

This constant need for approval is why narcissistic personalities are frequently found in the workplace since most people find them charismatic personality types at first glance.

But their inflated self-importance means that once you give them what they want, you become dispensable in their eyes and replaceable with someone who isn't likely to call their bluff on poor behavior.

When you have healthy self-esteem, you're less likely to fall victim to a narcissist because their incessant need for attention and praise will be the first thing, that you notice about them. After all, being around someone like this is draining since they don't allow others to get comfortable in their presence for too long.

This brings us back to the difference between entitlement and narcissism because what's important here isn't really that we deserve something but rather why we think we do.

If your goal is to achieve a certain outcome then go after it with everything you've got; but when you feel entitled to it, stop yourself and ask "Why?" If your answer involves anyone else then chances are it's an unhealthy sense of entitlement (and even if it's not, it still is).

For example, if you feel entitled to a promotion at work because you've worked hard and deserved a raise, but your co-worker hasn't been putting in the same effort, then chances are this isn't narcissism.

But if you believe that since you've been there longer than they have therefore the promotion should go to you instead based on seniority alone regardless of whether or not your co-worker has put in more hours, then this is likely an example of narcissism.

You can also tell yourself "If I want something badly enough, I'll work for it." Again, if working hard isn't what motivates you and helps keep your feet moving toward reaching your goals, then it's likely a sense of entitlement that's holding you back.

Einstein = End Game

In short, the difference between entitlement and narcissism is best described by what motivates each. Narcissists feel entitled to get whatever they want because they believe themselves to be superior to others, but those with healthy self-esteem are willing to put in the effort necessary to achieve their goals.