The key to personal transformation: Me watching

You may not always be aware of your feelings and thoughts in your daily life. But actually a part of you is aware of all this. The part of your self that is aware of your feelings and thoughts is called the observing self. The observing me, which is the part of you that does not change, experiences, sees, touches and thinks, is not a thought or a feeling, but rather an awareness, even a concept beyond awareness. The observing self observes without producing any thoughts, without judgment, and makes you aware of what you are doing. When you feel like you are at war with thoughts inside your mind, it helps you to just observe the story from a step back. It allows you to see your thoughts, feelings and memories as they are, as a collection of pictures, images and words. The watcher I is like the sky; While your thoughts and emotions are like air molecules that are constantly changing and moving in this sky, the sky is always blue and even the strongest hurricane cannot damage this sky.

If a part of yourself is capable of observing, then you have another part of yourself being observed. This other part of you is called ego. The ego keeps you on the ground of reality, preventing your self from disintegrating, and that's why it's necessary. However, the way to be an individual is through the observing ego stepping in and observing the ego without judgment. It is important to monitor your ego because your brain is constantly listening to you. Observing the ego with the observing ego is also very important for your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. Observing the ego means being able to look at yourself from the outside to observe the consequences of your actions, your defenses and motivation, and understand how they affect other people. Developing the watching me improves your relationships and helps you understand what it is you really want to do. Since your brain is constantly listening to you even when you are alone, objectively observing what you are saying to yourself is extremely effective on your self-confidence.

Both many psychotherapy schools and mystical approaches emphasize that unconscious material must be brought into consciousness, confronted, and only thus become whole in order to achieve a full change and transformation.

To better understand the watching me, we can compare your life to a movie starring yourself. There are various scenes in the script of this movie that you experience when you are alone or with other people. Even if you have some idea of ​​what part of your life story has been like so far, or what you've been through, you have no more than guesswork about how your story will continue and end from now on. Well, if there was a director for this movie about your life, starring yourself, who would it be? At this point, he says, “I think that every person should be both a leading actor and a director in their own story” and continues: “Another question is why if we are the people who are both the leading actors and the directors in these feature films that we call life? Why can't each of us have a perfect story, yet we often keep making the same 'mistakes' or defenses over and over? Or why do some of us insist on living an unconscious and random life as if our stories never had a director? The 'observer me', which is often mentioned in psychology and psychotherapy, provides an answer to all these questions.

Here is the observing me, as I said above, the part of you that evaluates how you behave, what you think and feel, in the most general sense, by looking at yourself from the outside. The observing self is also closely related to the concepts of insight and emotional intelligence. The observing self is also the part of you that is aware that you have insight and emotional intelligence. The observing self, which is potentially present in everyone, can be at different levels depending on the spiritual maturity level of the person. The more space the observing self occupies in a person's life, the higher the awareness and spiritual maturity level of that person. In this respect, we can liken the observer me to a guide that provides spiritual change and transformation.

Regardless of your age, the Observer Ben is an observer that covers your entire life up to that point. The fact that your observing mole is active indicates that you can see the mistakes you have made in your life, that you can intervene when necessary, that you can evaluate your experiences from the outside in an impartial way, that is, you have a part of yourself that directs your life. The more active your observing mole is, the more aware you become of your personality, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This shows how open you are to change, development and transformation.

At this point, the question of how can I improve the observing me may come to your mind. As I mentioned above, the concept of the observing self is a concept emphasized by many psychotherapy schools. Therefore, observing the therapy process is one of the techniques that improves me. In the therapy process, the fact that you turn a part of your self that displays your various behaviors in your daily life into an "object" and looking at all these experiences from the outside from the position of "subject" activates the observer me. In this way, you and your therapist look at the issues that you brought up in the session from an observer position. Over time, you internalize this perspective and get the opportunity to spread this skill throughout your life. The more you use your observing ego, the more nothing in your life will be the same as before, and change and transformation become inevitable.