How do you express your love to your special someone?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, he outlined that there are five major ways on how we can express our love to our loved ones. These are through Words of Affirmation, Acts of Services, Gift-Giving, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
His theory said that each person has his own way of showing their affection. This is not primarily focused on the romantic kind of relationship. It is also present in the relationship you have with your parents, siblings, friends, or even colleagues. Based on my understanding, I summarize the languages of love and figured out what is my primary love language.
Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
This kind of love language uses nice and uplifting words in expressing your love to your partner. If your partner's love language is this, make sure that you always have open communication with her. Being able to hear words like, "Those red stilettos fits you", "I love your dress today" or "Thank you for making me laugh all the time", gives a big impact on your partner. It doesn't need to be a long love letter or novel, sometimes just one to three words are enough to let her know that she is being appreciated by you.
Love Language #2: Act of Services
Are you familiar with the saying, "Actions speak louder than words"? Those who have this kind of love language primarily believe in this saying. So your partner feels that you love her if she sees you doing the dishes or helping her out to finish a task. Your initiative to do the cooking for your dinner will make her happy and giddy. Just remember that you do it because you want to show your love to her not because you are obliged to. Do things that will make her happy because you want her to be happy and you feel happy too.
Love Language #3: Gift-Giving
Women love to receive gifts from their partners but it does not necessarily mean that they are materialistic. Giving her a bouquet randomly or surprising her with her favorite ice cream flavor after a hell week at work will make her feel so much loved by you. Gift-giving language is beyond the giving and receiving gifts, it is the thought that makes it more special. The reason why you are giving her an ice cream is more important than the ice cream itself.
Love Language #4: Quality Time
Persons with this kind of love language wanted to spend more time to be with their partners. This kind of language can be expressed by not using your cellphone while you two are on a date. Your partner wanted your full attention only on her. In that way, she will feel that you appreciate and love her. Keep canceling your date or being distracted during your conversations will her hurt and will make her feel that she is not that important to you so avoid those things as much as possible.
Love Language #5: Physical Touch
This love language does not only involved having sex with your partner, it is being intimate with each other. Not necessarily the PDA (Public Display of Affection) thing but more of just by holding her hands while walking, holding her shoulders, or hugging for no reason. They feel loved with those gestures. Somehow they feel connected, safe, and home.
But don't forget that your love language is not the same as the love language of your partner. So knowing and understanding each other's love language is important to maintain the harmonious relationship you have.
What is my Love Language?
After reading his book, I realized that my Love Language is actually the Act of Services. I somehow believe that actions speak louder than words. Believe me when I say that I am not much of a talker between me and my husband. I'd rather clean the house, cook you delicious food and help you out in fixing the house, but you won't hear me say 'I love you' first. Most of the time hubby does that. So yeah, that's my Love Language. What's yours? Care to share in the comment section?
All images from Unsplash.
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman, 1992
My love language is 'words of affirmation'.....I love it when someone compliments me, or builds me up through words. The way I express love is by words, and gifts....When I'm in a relationship I love spoiling my partner with gifts and presents. Your writing is magnificent, and I'm excited to read more of your posts!