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Its Not Always Rosy

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Written by   23
3 months ago

Nothing inspires that awwnnn expression more than the sight of a very beautiful, innocent-looking baby, yeah beautiful babies can do no wrong. This is why it is always difficult when you try to imagine that these cute little cuddly, wonderful looking babies grow up to be the obnoxious and infuriating adults all around us - yes, you and I included. LOL

The truth is when we think about making babies, at least for the less experienced first-time parents, what usually dominates our thoughts are the images of those beautiful cuddly babies, the thoughts of hearing them say their first words, watching them crawl and walk for the first time and all those really beautiful things.

Being a parent offers a unique perspective on some of the tough decisions our own parents had to make, some of the times they had come off as bad parents because they couldn't meet certain standards with us, some of the challenges they faced trying to put us first because that's the only option that parenthood had afforded them.
Parenthood indeed is one of the most tasking jobs anyone could ever imagine, but no one gives you medals for being a top parent because no one asked you to be a parent, you made a conscious (sometimes unconscious) decision and you are merely being good for it. There are some fine intricacies involved in childbearing and rearing that are not thought about before delving in and truth is, we are never truly 100% ready for all things bearing and rearing in children, we kind of grow along with our kids and learn some of these things as time goes by, yes because there are no manuals and blueprints to follow.

Nobody tells you what postpartum depression feels like until you start experiencing it first hand, and sometimes you are stuck between catering to your own emotions and that of the baby. You try your utmost best to make sure non of whatever is going on with you rubs off or affects the child in any way. about being in pain and demanded not to cry. Sometimes when my baby girl is crying out for too much attention and being so unbearable, I am tempted to scream at her and say - hey, I am someone else's child too, I need love and care too, I need some pampering myself, leave me alone. LOL. How relieving it'd feel to be able to say that sometimes and get a good response.

Being a first-time parent, one of the things that keeps me emotionally restless is the constant need to know my baby's whereabouts, her safety, the state of her emotional wellbeing. I don't know about my partner but I would say I am built differently. I am always engrossed with thoughts of her safely anytime she is with me - how clean is the floor, I hope she doesn't pee on the tile and slip, why is she be crying now so deep into the night, oh, her temperature is unstable, please don't be sick. I worry too much and it is so exhausting sometimes.

I remember one time she got sick late in the night and I called up my mum and tried to tell her my baby was sick. The panic and agitation in my voice made her laugh, and she even made fun of me afterwards. She explained to me that there was more of those kinds of feelings to come, that child growth and illness go hand in hand, they don't grow without being sick, she said to me, so you better brace up and be strong. Phew!!

When I was much younger and very naive, I always said I was gonna have a very big family, you know a wife and at least 6 children, but I usually had 8 children in mind (Hahaha). I made this ignorant declaration because of the way I usually felt whenever we had a family gathering. We are 8 siblings in total and it was such a congregation whenever we come together and I liked how that felt.
Now, looking back and thinking to myself, having experienced what it means to be totally responsible for another human being and I am talking about decisions from what they would eat, to what they would wear to cleaning their poop, bathing them and putting them to sleep and all the mental, physical and emotional challenges that come with childbearing/rearing, I wonder how my parents did it. I have just had one and I am already swearing by everything I know that one kid is enough, I mean I need to enjoy my life, I cant spend the rest of my life taking care of and worrying about other human beings. LOL

My 17month old daughter wants to boss everyone around and blackmail you with emotions when it doesn't go her way. When I am talking on the phone, she comes and snatches away the phone and go on yapping noisy nothings to whoever is on the other side, good luck trying to take your phone back. She wants to stick her little fingers into your food and you need to allow her, else she would scream the whole house down and she knows how to land a good smack on the face too. Well, I have told her to grow up and get ready for some spanking, because I am not having that at all. LOL

As a parent, it feels good watching your kids grow in health, blossom and become good members of society but it takes pains, lots of hard work, emotional intelligence, a lot of sacrifices and compromises to bring to fruition.

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Written by   23
3 months ago
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